Wednesday, April 23, 2014
PLACERVILLE, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

A carbon fable

EDITOR: God set up our planet as an evolving world and, in due course, evolving man established trading in the necessities of life between the various countries of the world. All went well, even as worldwide trading became dominated by two large trading families: the Carbonne Family of the Middle East and the Oxgen Family of the West. Combining their trading operations proved both healthful and beneficial for the world. And everything was serene.

Serene, that is, until in the latter decades of the 20th century an American politician came upon the scene. His name was Alfred Goreman and he was both wily and avaricious in nature. He deduced that he could show the Oxgen Family had benefited the most in this trade merger between the two families: twice as much trade, in fact, as the Carbonne Family. He further decided that he needed to help the Carbonne Family rectify this horrible imbalance — surely, succeeding in this would yield him largesse from a grateful Carbonne Family.

Abdul Carbonne, titular head of the Carbonne Family and a rather oily man, proved to be very receptive to Goreman’s blandishments. He set him up in several large mansions with fleets of cars, around the United States, to demonstrate the benefits of furthering Carbonne Family trade. In addition, he sent his two sons Capp and Tradye, to accompany Goreman [in his private jet] around the world and assist him in his brokering the sale of Carbonne Credits.

These flights became known as the Carbonne Footprints [and made Goreman fabulously wealthy].

Abdul Carbonne, in a further display of generosity to Goreman, purchased his fledgling and failing cable TV network for half a billion dollars. This would give Carbonne’s own Al Jazzeria TV network access to the American market.

Stay tuned for further developments!

JOHN LANDIS

Placerville

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