Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A smoke anyone?


I am smoking again. I did not mean to, but the burning of a quadrillion tons of pine and oak spread smoke all over El Dorado County, so I am smoking again. And so are you.

When you next visit Marshall Medical Center and they ask, on the patient questionnaire, if you smoke, you can answer, “Hell yes! Everyone in El Dorado County smokes. Whether they want to or not.”

My operations research background leads me to a mind-experiment (actually mind-numbing) of comparing the sum of the state tax stamps of packs of cigarettes, which leads to the number of cigarettes smoked, and comparing to the quadrillion tons (OK, a guesstimate) of what we all have been breathing, for days (and nights) and wondering if cigarette smoking does not seem to pale in comparison to this last week.

Our friends are now in Paris, where every cafe has a smoking section. Actually, all of Paris is a smoking section. And, having been there, I can attest to breathing less smoke than El Dorado County, this week. I have no redeeming social solution to all this, just an observation.

Maybe it is time to pray for rain. Where are those rain dancers when we really need them?

Pollock Pines

Letters to the Editor


Discussion | 1 comment

  • RedmanAugust 30, 2013 - 9:51 am

    To answer your question Mr. Heyman, the rain dancers are north of Highway 50 about 200 yards, then a right on Honpie Road. If you can squeak past the 5x5 guard shack, where you may find the "guard" hallucinating on this weeks Methamphetamine's, you will find a large circle, encompassed by logs. The appropriate way to summons a gathering is to obnoxiously yell out as loud as you can... "FREE DRUGS." Then quickly ignite a pile of kindling and the rain dance will soon commence. You can expect a delay of approximately 35 seconds, this is due to the rain dancers waking from there sleep at twelve o'clock in the afternoon, on a weekday. Hope this finds you well. Btw, if you do decide to summons the rain dancers, please post a message advising when, I would like to get it on video.

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