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Wah, wah, wah. First Amendment this … Second Amendment that … Fourth, Fifth Amendment the other. But how many of you give even the slightest thought to our coolest-of-all amendments — the Third Amendment? None, I’ll wager. ‘Third Amendment, you say. Which one is that?”
And yet, our forefathers fought and died just as much for the Third Amendment as they did all those other amendments.
If not for the great Third Amendment, we might all have soldiers quartering in homes. Quartering. Without our consent. In our homes.
Sure, it might nice to have a soldier or two quartering in my home. “Hey, go bring in some firewood.” “You know, those leaves on the roof and in the gutters are getting pretty thick. How about getting up there and cleaning them off, soldier boy?”
And I’m sure some of you lonely ladies wouldn’t mind having some quartered soldiers. “My goodness Blake, you look awfully uncomfortable in that camouflage gear.”
I know I’d feel much safer and more secure if the Nazis, the Zhiltoids from Beta 6 nebula or hungry zombies were hanging around, and I had a few quartered and armed soldiers in my residence.
But the point is, the Third Amendment makes the mandatory quartering of soldiers in my home something those government big shots and Wall Street fat cats cannot force on me.
So please join me — Greg Homer — in support of the Third Amendment. And never forget.