NINJA TURTLE ADVICE: John Chapman provided the following “Advice from a Turtle” T-shirt statement: “Come out of your shell * Be well-rounded * Slow down * Know when to stick your neck out * Log time with friends * Home is where your heart is * Snap out of it!”
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BURN PERMITS REQUIRED: Burn permits are required to burn yard debris. Residents can only burn on “Permission Burn Days.” To verify burn days, call 530-621-5897 or 866-621-5897 before you burn debris. Residential burn permits are free and available at most local fire stations. Burn barrels are not legal.
MOM’S MEDICAL ADVICE: Heidi Barron provided the following “I Still Can Hear My Mom Now!” statement: “My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. ‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.’”
VERY SUCCESSFUL STUDENT: Rocky Mountain College officials have informed us that Jason Williams Olson of Camino has graduated with a Master of Physician Assistant Studies degree. Congratulations, Jason! We look forward to your bright future!
SCIENCE WORKSHOP: A STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Math) workshop is scheduled for uesday, May 14, at 3 p.m., at the Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Dr. To save your spot or for more information, call 530-621-5500.
NOT LIKELY TO HAPPEN: The “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar offers the following statement: “It sounds like Lenin will literally be cheering in his grave.” — BBC newscaster Justine Webb
FRIDAY TACOS GALORE! On Friday, May 17, from 5 to 7:30 p.m., the “Taco Friday Fiesta” will take place at the Pollock Pines-Camino Community Center, 2675 Sanders Dr., Pollock Pines. A no-host bar with beer and margaritas will be available. Adults pay $6. Children 12 and under pay $3. For more information, call 530-647-8005.
NOURISH YOUR BRAIN: The “Brain Connections” group meets on the third Friday of the month at 10 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. This is an opportunity to nourish your body and your brain by enjoying breakfast and finding practical ways to increase your memory and stay mentally sharp. You must call the Senior Center at 916-358-3575 to reserve your spot. The class/breakfast fee is $5.
PJ FUN AT 6:30 P.M.: ”PJ STORYTIME” at the Placerville Library, 345 Fair Lane, is scheduled for May 22 at 6:30 p.m. This program is designed for children, ages 3 to 5 years old, and features stories, songs, and craft activities — all comfy in their PJ’s. For more information, call 530-621-5547.
CREATE POT STICKERS: A class titled “Got Pot Stickers?” is scheduled for Thursday, May 23, from 2:30 to 3:45 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Please bring a $10 supply fee to the Senior Center to hold your spot. For more information, call 916-358-3575.
COOKING FOR 1 OR 2: A new class, “Cooking for 1 or 2″, will be offered on Tuesday, May 28, at 1 pm., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Nancy Porter will conduct this class. New recipes will be introduced. Call 916-358-3575 to reserve your spot.
NOT SO RELIGIOUS ADVICE: Carlyn White forwarded the following Rabbi response: “A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’ The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ The man replied, ‘My wife is poisoning me.’ The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can that be?’ The man then pleads, ‘I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?’ The Rabbi then offers, ‘Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.’ A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, ‘I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?’ The man said, ‘Yes” and the Rabbi replied, ‘Take the poison.’”
CIVIL AIR PATROL FUNDRAISER: A pancake breakfast fundraiser is scheduled for Saturday, June 1, from 8 to 11 a.m., at the Placerville Airport. Breakfast includes pancakes, eggs, sausage, coffee and juice. Tickets at the door are $6 per person. Children 12 years old or younger pay $3. Display parking available for classic/show cars. For more information visit hangtowneaa512.org or call 530-626-4165. Proceeds will benefit the Young Eagles group and the Civil Air Patrol.
A DALAI DILLY: The following quote is from the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar: “If the basic human nature was aggressive, we would be born with animal claws and huge teeth — but ours are very short, very pretty, very weak. That means we are not well equipped to be aggressive beings. Even the size of our mouth is very small. So I think the basic nature of human beings should be gentle.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.