LIGHTHEARTED FENCE COLUMN: It’s the day before April Fool’s Day, so I’ve decided to offer a lighthearted “Fence” column for the spring season. Enjoy April Fool’s Day and relax while you catch spring fever.
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T-SHIRTS TO PONDER: With thanks to John Chapman, we offer the following T-shirt statements:
“Blink if you want me.”
“Instead of a sign that says ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ I need one that says ‘ALREADY DISTURBED, PROCEEDS WITH CAUTION.’”
“This House Protected By A Shotgun 3 Days a Week! You guess Which 3.”
“I’ve decided not to FOCUS on the PAST. So if I OWE YOU MONEY, I’M SORRY!”
“Someone, Please Tell My Wife I’M RETIRED!”
“I may look lazy, But on a molecular level I’m quite busy.”
“FLYING is the 2nd greatest thrill known to man. LANDING is the 1st.”
EL DORADO DISPOSAL SERVICES: Below is a partial list of El Dorado Disposal services: ”HOURS OF OPERATION – Transfer Station Facilities and Services – 4100 Throwita Way, Placerville Material Recovery Facility – Hours: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., 7 days/week. Closed Christmas and New Year’s Day. Electronic Waste Drop-Off – Hours: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., 7 days/week, except for Christmas and New Year’s Day. No charge. Large Appliances, Tires, and Bulky Items Drop-Off – Hours: 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., 7 days/week, except for Christmas and New Year’s Day. Fees apply.”
WHEN TO VISIT LIBRARY: The Placerville Library, 345 Fair Lane, is open during the following hours: Tuesday and Wednesday from noon-7 pm. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Closed Sunday and Monday.
OFF-SITE RECYCLING CENTER: The Cameron Park Off-site Recycling Center, 3510 Palmer Dr., Cameron Park (located behind CVS), has the following hours: ”Hours: 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday (closed for lunch 12:30 to 1 p.m. daily; lunch times may vary). Accepts Recyclables, Electronics, Household Batteries, and Fluorescent Bulbs. Need more info? Visit: www.ElDoradoDisposal.com.”
LIBRARY OPEN HOURS: The Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Dr., is open during the following hours: Monday, Wednesday, Friday 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Tuesday and Thursday noon-7 p.m. Second Saturday of every month 10 a.m.-3 p.m.
LIFE LESSONS FOR ALL AGES: The “Live and Learn and Pass It On” book provided by Clara Neilsen offers the following life lessons:
“I’ve learned that joy is often the ability to be happy in small ways.” — Age 72
“I’ve learned that a good feeling gets even better when it’s shared.” — Age 14
“I’ve learned that you can make a dime dishonestly, but that it will cost you a dollar later on.” — Age 59
“I’ve learned that it is impossible to accomplish anything worthwhile without the help of other people.” — Age 82
“I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing ‘Silent Night’.” — Age 7
“I’ve learned that you can have a fancy education and still not be very wise.” — Age 69
TAKE A CHANCE: Thanks to Clara Neilsen, I have the following life lesson from the book “Live and Learn and Pass It On:” “I’ve learned that you should fill your life with experiences, not excuses.”
KINDNESS IS GOOD FOR YOU: John Bruno forwarded the following “Positive Quote of the Day:” “If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself.” — A. Neilen
BLESS THE GENEROUS: John Bruno forwarded the following quote: “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” — Ursula K. LeGuin, novelist, poet, and essayist.
A FEW LIFE LESSONS: John Bruno supplied the following suggestions from “The Handbook of Life:” ”Smile and laugh more.” ”You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.” ”. . .eat the fish, spit out the bones.” ”Call your family often.” ”Forgive everyone for everything.” ”Each day give something good to others.”
UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER: “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” calendar offers the following quotes: “What people say, what people do, and what they say they’ll do are entirely different things.” —Margaret Meade
“In order for a woman in Vermont to legally wear false teeth, she must obtain written permission from her husband.”
“Unmarried women may not parachute on Sundays in Florida.”
ZEN ZINGERS: The “Zen” calendar offers the following thoughts: “From the evening breeze to this hand on my shoulder, everything has its truth.” — Albert Camus
“To be on a quest is nothing more or less than to become an asker of questions.” — Sam Keen
“All that is the result of what we have thought.” — The Buddha
“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.” — Japanese Proverb
“Dying’s part of the wheel, right there next to being born . . . Being part of the whole thing, that’s the blessing.” — Natalie Babbitt
“The practice is the teacher. Your practice is your teacher.” — Maurine Stuart
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.