Heard over the back fence: Advice offered writers

By From page B1 | April 25, 2014

HOSPITAL BLOOPER: Sarah St. John sent the following “Hospital Chart Bloopers” quotation: “The patient refused autopsy.”

“CREMAINS” LAW: “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” calendar notes the following information: “California Penal Code bans the scattering of ‘Cremains’ from the Golden Gate Bridge.”

WRITING YOUR INNER VOICE: Would you like to find your inner voice to be a successful writer? Writer Eva Lisle will address this issue and other questions on Saturday, May 3, at 1 p.m. at the Placerville Main Library, 345 Fair Lane.

PLEASANT GROVE HOUSE FILM: The Clarksville Region Historical Society will meet on Wednesday, April 30, at 6:30 p.m. in the El Dorado Hills Library, 7455 Silva Valley Parkway. There will be a film by Marilyn Gillman and a discussion of the history of the 160-year-old Pleasant Grove house located on Green Valley Road.

SMART STUDENT SUCCEEDS: Oregon State University officials have notified us that Danielle E. Donley of Cameron Park has been placed on the Scholastic Honor Roll after posting a 3.5 or better grade-point average for the winter semester. Congratulations, Danielle! Keep up the great grades and guarantee yourself a bright future!

LEARNING TO RIDE A BIKE: On May 3, from 9 a.m. to noon, a mountain bike clinic and ride is being offered by the American River Conservancy (ARC). The clinic is geared towards beginners, but all levels are welcome. Tom Petersen will discuss “safety” aspects of checking bikes before riding. Also, seat height, brake adjustment, and overall “bike fit” will be discussed. There will be a bike ride of approximately one to two hours. Ages 10 and up are welcome. Please call 530-621-1224 for meeting location in Pilot Hill area and to sign up for the clinic. Suggested donation is $5 for ARC members or $10 for non-members.

SMART STUDENT RECOGNIZED: Oregon State University officials have notified us that Sara L. Orofino of Cameron Park has been named to the Scholastic Honor Roll for the winter term, after she maintained a straight-A grade-point average. Wow! Great effort, Sara! Real success is always a great thing to experience. Congratulations!

QUATRO DE MAYO PARTY! A fundraiser “Cinco de Mayo” dinner is scheduled one day early, on Sunday, May 4, from 4 to 7 p.m. at the Pleasant Valley Grange Hall, 4765 Pleasant Valley Grange Rd., Placerville. Advance tickets are $9 for adults and children 10 years old or older. Children under 10 years pay $5. For advance tickets call 530-644-8042. Tickets at the door are $1 more than advance tickets. Proceeds benefit the Pleasant Valley Grange Fire Safe Council. For more information, visit or their Facebook page.

A MORON MOMENT: Someone named “Bob” sent me the following “Top 8 Morons” quote: “WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.”

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? We have been informed that Christina Focht, a 2006 graduate of Union Mine High School, has been awarded a Graduate Assistantship for an MFA in Arts Administration at the University of Southern Utah. After obtaining her BA from Humboldt State University, she interned at the Pacific Conservatory of Performing Arts in Santa Maria. One of the people who inspired her was her theater teacher, Ms. Miller, at Union Mine High School. Congratulations, Christina, on your continuing success story.

MOTHER’S DAY BREAKFAST: The Interact Club is sponsored by the Pollock Pines-Camino Rotary Club. The Interact Club is offering a community breakfast to celebrate Mother’s Day on May 10 from 8:30 to 10:30 a.m. at the Pollock Pines-Camino Community Center, 2675 Sanders Dr., Pollock Pines. The cost is $1 for seniors, $3 and $7 for families. The breakfast includes sausage, pancakes, scrambled eggs, orange juice, and coffee, tea or hot chocolate.

DIVORCE POWERFUL: Sarah St. John forwarded the following “Hospital Chart Blooper:” “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.”

A ZEN ZINGER: Check out the “Zen” calendar, and you will find the following quote:
”Like dew that vanishes,

like a phantom that disappears,

or the light cast

by a flash of lightning

so should one think of oneself.” — Ikkyu

Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.

Bob Billingsley

Bob Billingsley writes Heard Over the Back Fence three times a week, keeping his pen on the pulse of the community. He also writes a biweekly column called Billingsley's Bullets, in which he uses “sideways” thinking to make your day a little easier to handle.
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