COMPUTER LANGUAGE CONFUSION: A peek at “The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar notes the following language: “Dear David Albrecht, you have been dismembered from starex Website.” — Subject header from an e-mail to a user who wasn’t using a Website enough (thanks to Dave Albrecht)
USED BOOK SALE IN THE PINES: The Pollock Pines Friends of the Library are sponsoring a $5 per bag used book sale in the library from Sept. 17 through Sept. 26 in the library foyer during regular library hours, Tuesday, from noon to 7 p.m., and Wednesday and Thursday, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. All proceeds will benefit the library.*
LOW CALORIE CHOCOLATE: Neil Pfafman of Placerville provided the following possibly logical statement: “If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.”
GENERATION OF SUPPORT: I enjoyed being the MC for the Relay for Life event. Among the many nice people I met were the supporters of cancer survivor Joan Parkson. Joan is a cancer survivor since 2000. Four generations of supporters at the Relay for Life included daughters Zady Jo Wirth, Stacy Barraque, granddaughter Mandy Gough and great granddaughter Emma Gough.
BE ALERT WHILE DRIVING: Janet Rodgers provided the following observation: “When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
POLKA DANCE TIME: The Placerville Oktoberfest is scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 21, from 3 to 8 p.m., on Main St., Placerville. There will be life music, Wiener dog races, costume contest, children’s games, beer-related games, Bavarian dance demos, sausages, sauerkraut, strudel and beer.
CHECK OUT THE ANTIQUES: The annual Antique Street Fair is scheduled for Sunday, Sept. 29, from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., on Main St., Placerville. During these hours, Main Street will be closed to host antiques and collectibles peddlers for this very popular event.
CONFUSED ABOUT MEDICARE? A new class titled “Understanding Medicare and Medicare Supplements” is scheduled for Thursday, Oct. 3, from 10 to 11:30 a.m., in the Social Room of the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Dr. The class is described in the following fashion: “This class will provide information on what is and is not covered by Medicare Parts A, B, C and D. You will also learn about the role of supplemental insurance plans A-K, also known as ‘Medi-Gap’, Medicare Advantage Plans and proposed changes for 2014 and beyond.” The class fee is $10 for Cameron Park residents or $12 for non-residents. Stacy Iseminger will be the instructor.
CONVERSATION AT THE CENTER: “Let’s Talk” is a topical discussion group that meets at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane, on the first Thursday of the month at 10 a.m. The discussion topic for Oct. 3 is “What Are Your Interests?” Terry Provenza is the group leader.
ADVICE FOR GOSSIPS: John Chapman provided the following T-shirt statement: “Make someone happy . . . mind your own business.”
PLAY TIME FOR SENIORS: “Senior Games Day” takes place every fourth Tuesday of the month from 10 a.m. to noon at the Cameron Park Community Center Social Room, 2502 Country Club Dr. Games are supplied or you can bring your own game to share. Presently, the following games are played: Mexican Train, Crown 5, Hand and Foot, Bingo (designated months), Yahtzee, Pinochle, and Rummykube.
POLITENESS PREVAILS: Clara Neilsen gave me the book “Live and Learn and Pass It On,” which offers the following life lesson: “I’ve learned that all transactions and relationships are enriched by courtesy.” — Age 59
BEGINNING GUITAR CLASS: A new class titled “Beginning the Guitar” is scheduled on Thursdays from 1 to 1:45 p.m., Oct. 3 through Oct. 24. The class fee is $39, and classes will be held at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Lew Johnson is the instructor. Participants will use the book “Step One: Play Guitar” by Artie Traum. Bring your guitar and the book. To register for class, call 916-358-3575.
PLACERVILLE PIONEER PERFORMANCES: The Placerville Shakespeare Club is offering a unique presentation of notable pioneer women’s stories on the following dates: Oct. 11: Evening Dessert Buffet Performance, doors open at 6 p.m., performance at 7:15 p.m. Oct. 20: Afternoon Tea Performance, doors open at noon, tea served at 1 p.m., performance follows. For the performances, ladies will be dressed in period costumes and will present character vignettes of selected pioneer women of El Dorado County. Tickets for each performance are $20. The performances will take place at the Clubhouse, 2940 Bedford Ave., Placerville. Tickets and further information are available from Margriet 530-621-1126 or Joy 916-505-6964 or email email@example.com or The Historic Cary House Hotel 530-622-4271.
A DALAI DILLY: Review the “Insight from the Dalai Lama calendar, and you will find the following thought: “There is a saying in Tibetan: ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.