COURT NONSENSE: Mike Raffety provided the following testimony from a book called “Disorder in the American Courts”:
“ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.”
WANT TO BE AN ELECTRICIAN? El Dorado County Connections — One Stop is hosting a free career information session on Nov. 5 at 10:30 a.m. at the El Dorado County Child Support Services building at 3883 Ponderosa Rd., Shingle Springs. The speaker will share information about training and apprenticeship programs. For more information, call 530-642-4850 or visit edcgov.us/humanservices.
CAPITAL POPS CONCERT: The Capital Pops Concert will be offered on Saturday, Nov. 16, at 7 p.m., at the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Dr. Advance tickets are $10 or 2 for $18, or $12 at the door. Tickets are available at Walgreens, Bel Air, Shingle Springs/Cameron Park Chamber of Commerce, Station 89, Cameron Park CSD office — 2502 Country Club Dr. or online at showclix.com. For more information, call 530-677-2231.
WHEELBARROW JOHNNY: A new class titled “History of John Studebaker, a Placerville Story” will be offered on Tuesday, Nov. 19, at 1 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Two local historians will discuss the adventures and successes of John Studebaker. Mary Cory and Dee Owens, from the El Dorado County Historical Museum, will be the presenters. Call 916-358-3575 to reserve your spot.
TEEN AND ADULT CLASSES AVAILABLE: The Cameron Park Community Services District is offering the following classes: Ballet, hula, theater, ukulele, Spanish, guitar, taekwondo, gymnastics, tumbling/trampoline classes, cooking with kids classes, FUNdamental volleyball and bird watching. For times and dates of classes, call 530-677-2231.
FIGHT FOR YOUR BELIEFS: The “Live and Learn and Pass It On” book notes the following life lesson: “I’ve learned that you must fight for the things you believe in.” — Age 70
UKULELE JAM TIME! A new class titled “Ukulele Jam” is available on Mondays from 2 to 2:45 p.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. This class is designed for people who already play the ukulele to some degree. This is an opportunity to increase your playing skills and add songs to your repertoire. The drop-in fee is a $5 donation. Lew Johnson is the instructor.
PROGRAMS FOR SENIORS: If you want to know more about the programs available to seniors and caregivers, call 530-621-6369 or 1-800-510-2020.
FLAVORED FRIENDS: Neil Pfafman forwarded the following “Chocolate Wisdom”: “All you need in life is a friend with chocolate.”
OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS CRAFT FAIR: An Old-Fashioned Christmas Craft Fair is scheduled Saturday, Nov. 23, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., at the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Dr. This fair will feature food, beverages, wine, champagne and hundreds of handmade crafts.
STORIES AND CRAFTS ACTIVITIES: ”Children’s Storytime” is presented on Fridays at 10:30 a.m. at the Placerville Main Library, 345 Fair Lane. Children, ages 3 to 5, and their adults are welcome to enjoy stories and crafts. For more information, call 530-621-5547.
HOLIDAY PARTY AND AUCTION: The Cameron Park Rotary Club invites you to its annual holiday party and auction, scheduled for Thursday, Dec. 5, at 5:30 p.m. There will be complimentary wine and a no-host bar available. At 6:30 p.m., dinner will be served with salad, table wine and dessert. There will also be a raffle and live auction. Tickets are $45. Please RSVP by Nov. 18 by calling 530-676-2282. Proceeds support local community projects, student scholarships and international service efforts.
DEFINING PEACE WORK: Monika Billingsley observed the following plaque at the doctor’s office: “If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
LEND A HAND: The Community Services District needs volunteers for special events. If you would like to help, call 530-677-2231.
ANY MEDICARE QUESTIONS? For those with Medicare or Long-Term Care questions, a visit with a Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program counselor can be arranged by calling 530-621-6369.
A DALAI DILLY: The “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar offers the following suggestion: “Many people still consider science and religion to be in opposition. While I agree that certain religious concepts conflict with scientific facts and principles, I also feel that people from both worlds can have an intelligent discussion, one that has the power ultimately to generate a deeper understanding of challenges we face together in our interconnected world.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.