Heard over the back fence: Coat giveaway Saturday

NO BRIGHT FUTURE:
 John Chapman provided the following T-shirt statement: “Boldly Going Nowhere.”

KOATS FOR KIDS AVAILABLE:
 Gold Rush No. 1034 will hold a Koats for Kids giveaway Saturday, Jan. 26, at the Masonic Lodge from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. The lodge is located at 2820 Cold Springs Rd., Placerville. You must bring proof of residence in the county to receive any items. If you have questions, please contact Amy Szymusik at 916-806-4383 or Jessica Waldron-Morton at 530-363-6322.

SINGING VALENTINES GIFT:
 Bonnie Flint of Camino informs us that 17 El Dorado County women belong to the Sacramento Valley Chorus. The chorus is offering a Valentine gift of a singing Valentine, which includes two songs, a Valentine card with original verse, a red, silk rose, and an elegant box of chocolate truffles. If you want to purchase this special Valentine gift for someone very special for $45, call 916-420-1662 or visit sacramentovalleychorus.com/special. Your order must be placed before Feb. 1.

DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY: 
Are you ready to relive the ’60s through the ’80s with dance and music? The Shingle Springs Community Center, 4440 South Shingle Rd., is hosting another dance night on Friday, Feb. 1, from 7 to 9 p.m. A short dance and light refreshments will be provided. A $5 donation is welcome. For more information, call Maria Brugger at 530-306-4614.

FISCAL CLIFF DEFINITION:
 Tim McFadden provided the following bumper sticker wisdom: “Watching the government’s recent discussions on the fiscal cliff is like seeing two drunks argue over a bar bill on the Titanic.”

CRAB AND SHRIMP FEED: 
Those who enjoy planning ahead may want to move quickly on this event, which sells out early every year. Mother Lode Lions is sponsoring an all-you-can-eat “Crab and Shrimp Feed” on Saturday, Feb. 16, at the Mother Lode Lions Hall, corner of Missouri Flat and Pleasant Valley Rd., Diamond Springs. No-host bar opens at 5 p.m. Dinner will be served at 6 p.m. Dinner also includes anti-pasta, salad, pasta, dessert, coffee or tea. Tickets are $40 each. To purchase tickets, call 530-644-8519 or purchase them at the Sees candy shack in the Mother Lode Lions Hall parking lot, which is open every day from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

BINGO FOR GIFT CARDS: 
You can play bingo on Mondays and Thursdays from 12:30 to 1:30 p.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. You pay $3 for 2 bingo cards. Additional cards are available for $1. Local grocers, Raley’s and the Nugget, offer discount purchases of their $5 gift cards, which players can win. For more information, call 916-358-3575.

FUNDRAISER FOR DWAYNE: 
Local resident Dwayne Nystrom is quite a guy. After a freak accident three years ago, he landed in a wheelchair. Currently he is high-point man for the Sierra Storm, a wheelchair rugby team. Dwayne needs a new wheelchair that’s professionally fitted to his body. A fundraiser to help purchase the chair is scheduled for Saturday, March 16, from 4 to 9 p.m. This spaghetti feed will be held at the Firefighters Memorial Hall in Diamond Springs. If you want to see some quad rugby firsthand, come to the tournament at Sac State’s Yosemite Room, Jan. 26 and 27. For more information, call Diane at 530-417-2310. Tickets are $7 or $25 for a group of four. Tickets will be sold at the door.

SUCCESSFUL STUDENT NEWS: 
Breanna Canclini of Cameron Park recently graduated from Milligan College, Tenn. Breanna received a Master of Science degree in Occupational Therapy. Congratulations, Breanna! It’s always fun to hear about students from our area who succeed in college. We look forward to your bright future, Breanna.

WHY ACCEPT ME?
 An anonymous reader sent me the following accurate quote: “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as a member.” — Groucho Marx.

BETTER HEALTH FOR 2013:
 The Cameron Park CSD is offering the following classes to help you keep your New Year’s resolution for better health: Zumba Gold Toning, Yoga, Prenatal Yoga Workshop, Adult Tap, Line Dance, Mindful Mediation to Reduce Stress Management, and Ballroom Dance. Seniors can join the Ping Pong Club. For dates and location of classes, call 530-677-2231.

LONG TERM CARE OPTIONS: 
Would you like to learn more about long term care options? A class titled “Planning for Long-Term Care” is scheduled for Tuesday, Feb. 12, at 1 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Long-term care options and various ways of paying for long term care will be discussed. Call 916-358-3575 to save your spot.

ADALAI DILLY:
Review the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar, and you will discover the following lesson: “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”

Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.

Bob Billingsley

Bob Billingsley writes Heard Over the Back Fence three times a week, keeping his pen on the pulse of the community. He also writes a biweekly column called Billingsley's Bullets, in which he uses “sideways” thinking to make your day a little easier to handle.

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