KEEP HANDS IN POCKETS: Someone named “Bob” dropped off the following “Top Moron” quote: “NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket, (helloooooooo)!”
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DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY: On May 2, from 7 to 9 p.m., the Shingle Springs Community Center will host its monthly dance night. DJ Jamie Faw will provide the music. Refreshments will be available. A $5 donation is appreciated. Come on out to 4440 South Shingle Road and join the fun. For more information, call Maria Brugger at 530-306-4614.
SILENCE MAY BE BETTER: Paul Chafer provided the following “Disco Dancing” quote: “Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: ‘See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.’ Husband says: ‘Looks like he’s still celebrating.’”
BREAKFAST FOR MOM: A Mother’s Day Breakfast is scheduled for Sunday, May 11, from 8 to 11 a.m. at the El Dorado Community Hall, 6139 Pleasant Valley Road, El Dorado. Tickets are $8 per person. Children 12 and under pay $4. The following menu will be offered: eggs Benedict, scrambled eggs, Canadian bacon, fruit, juice and coffee. Mothers: Enjoy 1 free drink ticket in honor of Mother’s Day.
MOM’S DAY BREAKFAST: A Mother’s Day breakfast is being sponsored by the Gold Trail Grange at 319 Highway 49, Coloma. The breakfast includes all-you-can-eat pancakes, plus a serving of ham “n” cheese or veggie quiche, a fresh fruit cup, orange juice, coffee, tea or cocoa. Each mom will receive a special gift. Adult and children, age 11 or older, tickets are $6. Children 10 and under pay $3. Free parking available at the Grange. Everyone is welcome! Breakfast will be served from 8:30 to 11 a.m.
HONOR A NURSE: The Marshall Foundation for Community Health and the Mathewson-Bonser Nursing Scholarship Fund is sponsoring the “Honor A Nurse” celebration, scheduled for May 16. The nurse you choose will be invited to the celebration. “To honor the nurse of your choice at Marshall Hospital or elsewhere, please send $100 for each nurse honored to: Marshall Foundation, PO Box 1996, Placerville 95667 or you may donate online at marshallfound.org. Deadline for honoring nurses is May 2. For more information call 530-642-9984.”
POWERFUL SNEEZE RECOGNIZED: Jewel Blair sent the following “Human Body” quote: “Sneezes regularly exceed 100 mph, while coughs clock in at about 60 mph.”
GIVE WHERE YOU LIVE: May 6 has been designated as “Give Where You Live Day.” Partners In Care program has a local donor who will match donations up to $20,000 for the “Give Where You Live Day.” The El Dorado Community Foundation is organizing this May 6 event. To give on May 6, visit eldoradocf.org and click on “Give Where You Live.” In addition, you can also choose to drop off a donation at the Foundation office at 312 Main St. in Placerville, or visit any El Dorado Savings Bank or text “55000″ with “PARTNERS” in the message body to give to PARTNERS IN CARE. Or you can drop off your donation at local locations: Madrona Vineyards or Sierra Nevada Tire & Wheel.
GUITAR LESSONS: A class titled “Intro to Guitar” is offered at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Classes are scheduled on Thursdays from May 8 through May 29 at 1 p.m. Lew Johnson is the instructor, and the class fee is $39. There is a required music book. Call the CSD Parks and Recreation registration office to register and obtain information on the music book, 916-933-6624.
POLL-WORKERS ARE NEEDED: At least 19 additional poll-workers are needed in the El Dorado Hills area for the June 3 primary election. This is a great opportunity to pick up some extra money and meet a lot of nice people. If you would like to help, call Barbara Dockter at 530-621-7471 as soon as possible.
EDUCATIONAL LUNCHEON SCHEDULED: The Marshall Foundation for Community Health has scheduled an educational luncheon titled “Special Media Archetypes … Is Your Organization Having an Identity Crisis?” The luncheon will be on Tuesday, May 20, at 11:30 a.m. at the Sequoia, 643 Bee St., Placerville. Bryan Merica of IDMLOCO will explore the “different strengths to engage audiences appropriate and in a way that lets your organization’s persona shine through.” The cost is $35, and payment is due with registration by Thursday, May 15. To reserve your spot and for more information, call 530-642-9984.
A ZEN ZINGER: Review the “Zen” calendar, and you will discover the following thought: “I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” — Mary Oliver
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.