WHAT DOES VOLATILE MEAN? Review the “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar, and you will discover the following response: “Reporter: Do you think you’re volatile? Soccer player David Beckham: Well, I can play in the center, on the right, and occasionally on the left side.”
GOOD FOOD AND GOOD COMPANY: On Sept 18, from 5:30 to 8 p.m., the Pollock Pines-Camino Rotary Club will present their fundraiser, “Evening in the Orchard,” at Rainbow Orchards, 2569 Larson Dr., Camino. Your $40 ticket includes Tri-tip dinner, music, prizes and raffles. Tickets are available at Ship Shape USA, Umpqua Bank and Tax Related Services in Pollock Pines. Tickets are also available from any Pollock Pines-Camino Rotarian.
MUSIC AT THE RIVER: On Sept. 13, 14 and 15, the seventh annual American River Music Festival will take place in Coloma, with at least 30 live music performances. For tickets, camping information go to americanrivermusic.org or call 530-622-6044.
BABY BOOMER BENEFITS: A presentation titled “Boomer Ed 101″ is scheduled for Mondays, Sept. 16 through Sept. 30, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. This three-week series is designed for those born between 1948 and 1953. Presentation topics will include “Medicare (coverage, benefits, group and private health plans, Parts A, B, C and D), Social Security (when to claim, how it relates to Medicare, etc), Veteran’s Issues and more (planning ahead for fitness, fun and giving back).”
STORIES AND CRAFTS FOR KIDS: Children, ages 3 to 5, and their adults are welcome to join the “Let’s Read Together” storytime at the Placerville Library, 345 Fair Lane. Stories and craft activities will be offered for this “Hands Can” program. The first 30 families will go home with a free copy of the featured book.
DON’T WASH EVERYTHING: If you look at the “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar, you will observe the following “tech support” statement: ”Tech support: Can you think of anything you might have done to cause your computer to stop functioning? Customer: Well, I just cleaned it. There was dirt on the fan, and I wiped it off. Tech support: Oh, that shouldn’t have hurt anything. Customer: Then I opened up the computer and wiped the insides as well. I took it apart and washed everything with Windex.” — Actual tech support call. At least the caller didn’t put the computer in the dishwasher!
SPENCER MAKING A MOVE: Spencer Bruttig, a Union Mine High School 2009 graduate, graduated with two degrees in June, 2013, from University of California at Santa Barbara. He received degrees in Film Production — Cinematography and History. UCSB administrators recently selected Spencer to direct a documentary for the school, with a budget for costs and personnel, plus full access to all filming equipment. Congratulations, Spencer! Your future looks very bright.
CASA FUNDRAISER: The El Dorado County Chamber of Commerce Charity Golf Tournament is scheduled for Wednesday, Sept. 18, at the Apple Mountain Golf Resort. The early bird entry fee, if paid by Sept. 4, is $135 ($155 after). The foursome fee is $450 if paid by Sept. 4. The entry fee includes lunch, dinner, green fees, cart, range balls and free beverages on course. You can register online at eldoradocounty.org or call 530-621-5885.
PLACERVILLE OKTOBERFEST! The Placerville Oktoberfest is scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 21, on Main St., Placerville, from 3 to 8 p.m. Admission is free. Get out your lederhosen and dirndl skirts. Activities include wiener dog races, hot dog eating contest, VIP tables in the bier garten, bean bag toss, and conk (kick) the can. The Grand Isle Fire Brigade Band will play traditional German favorites, including the Chicken Dance. Dancing for children dancing will also be available.
HOW TO BEAT COMPUTERS: Carolyn White provided the following “Quotation to Ponder”: “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” — Emo Philips
REPUBLICAN WOMEN AND THE TWO I’s: On Monday, Sept. 9, at 11:15 a.m., the El Dorado West Republican Women Federated will meet at Denny’s Restaurant on Coach Lane, Cameron Park. Allison Olson, CFRW Legislative Advocate, will discuss her experiences in Israel with the Foundations for Democracies. There will be a slide show regarding “Israel Verses Iran — Why It Matters to America.”
BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS: The Mother Daughter Book Club recommends the following books for readers in the 4th to 8th grades: “Caddie Woodlawn,” by Carol Brink; “Little Princess,” by Frances Hodgson Burnett; “Frindle,” by Andrew Clement; “Because of Winn Dixie,” by Kate Dicamillo. Other recommended books for 4th to 8th grade readers are listed in a pamphlet titled “Mother Daughter Book Club Recommendations,” available at the libraries.
MAH JONG GAME TIME! You can play Mah Jong on the second and fourth Wednesday of each month at 1 p.m. at the Cameron Park Community Center social room at 2502 Country Club Drive. Beginners and drop-ins are welcome.
YOU DON’T NEED A WEATHERMAN TO TELL WHICH WAY HE WIND BLOWS: The Divide Democrats Club is offering a presentation titled, “Climate Reality: What Do We Know? What Can We Do?” The presentation will be on Sept. 25 at 7 p.m. at the Pilot Hill Grange on Highway 193 in Cool. The speaker will be Sharon Delgado, a trained presenter with Al Gore’s Climate Reality Project.
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.