HOW TO MEET JESUS: My pal John Chapman sent me a photo of the following church sign: “Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet Him.”
FAMILY FISHING EVENT: On Saturday, May 10, from 4 to 6 p.m., the American River Conservancy has scheduled a family fishing event in the Gold Hill. The large pond contains bass, small and large mouth, bluegill and perch. Kristin Powell will host this event on the Wakamatsu Colony Farm site. Adults who fish must have a valid fishing license. The cost is $5 for children and $10 for adults or $20 for a family. Rain cancels this event. Call 530-621-1224 for meeting location and to sign up for this event.
CANDIDATES FORUMS: The League of Women Voters have scheduled the following candidates forums: April 29, Board of Supervisors, District 4 – Cameron Park Community Services District hall, 6-9 p.m. May 5, Superior Court Judges, Offices 1 & 5 — Board of Supervisors chambers 6-9 p.m., 330 Fair Lane, Placerville. May 7, County Administrative Officers facing a challenger — Auditor-Controller, Board of Supervisors chambers 6-8:30 p.m.
ROLL OVER OCCASIONALLY: Sarah St. John sent the following “Hospital Chart Blooper:” “Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”
NRA CLEAN-UP: NRA “Klean” volunteers will convoy out of the Pollock Pines Safeway Market parking lot at 9 a.m. on Wednesday, April 30, to clean up some shooting areas in El Dorado National Forest. Tools, bags, drinks and lunches will be supplied. Please call Steve at 530-620-3946 if you would like to help.
BEWARE OF BATS! Recently a bat invaded our Mountain Democrat office area. He/she was dive-bombing all of us. I hope no one saw me hiding under my desk!
USED BOOKS SALE: On the first Saturday of each month, the Placerville Library sells used books at the library, 345 Fair Lane, form 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. You can buy a grocery bag full of books, tapes, etc. for $5. Bring your own canvas bag and save a dollar.
CLEAN-UP DAY IN POLLOCK PINES: The following information was provided for all residents of Pollock Pines: “The seventh annual CEDAPP Community Clean-up Day will be on May 3 from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. for all residents of Pollock Pines (residence ID will be required). There will be two locations for very specific forms of trash. The main site will be at the top of Pony Express Trail, at the county sand sheds. This will be for all trash, excluding e-waste, green waste, and items for Snowline Hospice. The second site, the parking lot next to the Quonset hut on Pony Express Trail (directly across the street from True Value Hardware) will only be for e-waste, green waste, and items for Snowline Hospice.
NOT TOO SMART CROOK: I received the following “Top 8 Morons” story from someone named “Bob”: “THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kan., Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.”
GENTLY USED ITEMS SALE: There will be a “Gently Used Items Sale” at the Shepherd of the Hills Church at 4050 Durock Rd., No. 7, Shingle Springs, on May 10. Some items are brand new! The sale starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 3 p.m.
PANCAKE BREAKFAST TIME! The Pleasant Valley Grange offers a pancake breakfast on the first Saturday of every month from 8 to 11 a.m. at the grange, located at 4765 Pleasant Valley Grange Rd. except in July, when breakfast is served on the 4th of July.
WEIGHT MANAGEMENT CLASS: Marshall Medical is presenting a class titled “Weight Management” on Wednesday, May 7, from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. at Midtown Mall, 681 Main St., Placerville. Topics will include losing weight and keeping it off with meal planning, strategies for dining out, and making positive life-style changes. The class fee is usually covered by insurance, and some scholarships may be available. To register for this class, call 530-672-7021.
MAPPING EMIGRANT TRAILS: The mission of the Oregon-California Trails Association is to discover, map and preserve all transmigration trails to the West. On Thursday, May 15, from 6:30 to 8 p.m., John Winner and Dee Owens will explain what they do in the Eldorado National Forest and mapping with computer software. Call 530-621-1224 to sign up for class and for location of class. ARC members pay $5 for class. Non-members pay $10.
2015 SENIOR TRIPS: For you plan-aheaders, the “Collette Trip Preview for 2015″ is scheduled for July 24 at 1:30 p.m. at the Placerville Senior Center, 937 Spring St. This presentation will include South Africa, Heart of the South, Panama, Washington, D.C., and some new trips for 2015.
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.