EFFECTIVE SLEEPING PILL: My friend Paul Chafer provided the following quote: “Working most of her life, Grandma finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. ‘Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?’ ‘Yes, they help me sleep at night.’ ‘Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these pills that could possibly help you sleep?’ She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee. ‘Yes, dear, I know that; but every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks. . . and believe me, it helps me sleep at night.'”
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GUITAR HERO TOURNAMENT: The “Guitar Hero Tournament” is scheduled for Saturday, Aug. 9, at the El Dorado Hills Library, 7455 Silva Valley Parkway. Registration starts at 12:30 p.m The tournament begins at 1 p.m. Bring your own guitar or borrow a tournament guitar. The $10 entry fee includes a slice of pizza. First-place winner receives $100. Second prize is $50, and third place wins $25. This event is for ages 10 and older. Songs will be chosen at random. For more information, call 916-358-3500.
RIDE THE STAGECOACH: Davey “Doc” Wiser informs us that stagecoach rides will be available on Aug. 6 from noon to 3 p.m. on Main St. (next to Bell Tower), Placerville. On Aug. 9, stagecoach rides will be available from noon to 3 p.m. at Fresh Pond.
SPECIAL TRAIN RIDE: The El Dorado Western Railroad will host a round-trip train ride from the Shingle Springs Station all the way to the El Dorado Station Sunday, Aug. 31. Normally the Sunday trip only goes half that distance. Call 530-626-8688 or 530-409-8473. Higher ticket prices apply.
AG FUNDRAISER: “A Fundraiser for Ag in the Classroom is scheduled for Saturday, Aug. 16, from 6 to 9 p.m. at Davies Family Inn at Shadowridge Ranch, 3700 Fort Jim Rd., Placerville. Tickets are $35 per person. For tickets, go to agintheclass-edc.org. For more information, call 530-303-8117.
BOCCE BALL CLASS: A class titled “Intro. to Bocce Ball” is scheduled for Saturday, Aug.16, from 9:30 to 10:45 a.m., at Promontory Community Park, El Dorado Hills. Participants will learn rules, scoring, strategy, terminology, court courtesy and actual game plan. The class fee is $29. Carl Renner is the instructor. To register for this class, call 916-933-6624. Ages 13 and up, including adults, are invited.
BRIDGE TOURNAMENT LUNCHEON: The “Hats Off to Summer Bridge Tournament” luncheon is scheduled for Monday, Aug. 18, at the Cold Springs Golf and Country Club, 6500 Clubhouse Dr., Placerville. Entry forms are due by Aug. 10. Mail entry forms to Judy Allan, 1601 Tai Pan Dr., Placerville, CA 95667. Please include check for $40 per pair. For more information, call 530-642-0230 or 530-647-0350.
MENTAL HEALTH INFORMATION: Free “Mental Health First-Aid” classes are being sponsored by Marshall Medical. Classes are offered on Saturdays, Aug. 23 and Aug. 30, from 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., at 681 Main St., Suite 207, Placerville. You are expected to attend both classes. Class topics will include learning of the signs and strategies to assist persons when dealing with mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc. PRE-REGISTRATION REQUIRED. Call Community Health Education at Marshall Medical to register and to obtain more information at 530-626-2990.
RENAISSANCE FAIR: The “Renaissance Tudor Fayre” is scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 6, from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Sunday, Sept. 7, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Cameron Park Lake, 2989 Cambridge Rd. Children ages 4 to 12 tickets are $8. Youngsters 13 and over and adult tickets are $12. Seniors pay $8. There are family packages for $30. Discount tickets available with student, military or service ID. For vendor or other information, call Raelynn DeBone at 916-223-6725 or visit email@example.com.
A ZEN ZINGER: The following quote was found in the “Zen” calendar: “Let us keep alive the flame of thought and love: they are one and the same flame. Let us communicate to those around us the desire to understand and to give (and also to receive). There are too many walled-up consciences.” — Abbe-Jules Montchanin
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.