FIRE WALKER: John Chapman provided the following T-shirt statement: “I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.”
DEMOCRATS POW WOW: The United Democrats of El Dorado County Club will hold its monthly meeting on Thursday, Jan. 24, at Denny’s restaurant, 99 Fair Lane, Placerville, at noon. The “President Obama’s Foothills Moving Forward” group will be present to field questions.
NEGATIVE PERSONALITY LIVES ON: Clara Neilsen gave me the book, “Live and Learn and Pass It On,” which offers life lessons from people ages 5 to 95. The following statement is presented: “I’ve learned that it is very painful to see my negative personality traits alive in my children.” — Age 39.
HOTHOUSE FLOWERS: Richard Lederer’s “Anguished English” calendar has the following “School Daze” statement: “The Dutch people used windmills to keep the tulips from sweating.”
INSIDE OUT WISH LIST: The “Inside Out Hearts to Heal” program is a non-profit community program created to building women’s confidence. They now have a terrific facility for their workshops. They need the following items for the new facility: Living Room Furniture – Chairs, couch, coffee table, side tables, sideboard table/low dresser, armoire, coat rack. Art Work: Large and medium frames with or without artwork, canvases. Office file cabinet. Clothing manikin/clothing racks. Wall shelves . Storage bins – plastic containers, baskets. Coffeemaker/electric tea kettle. Curtains/fabric. Call 530-391-7446 to arrange pick up of your donation.
NOT JERRY RICE: The “365 Stupidest Things Said” calendar demonstrates how important the wrong letter can be. Note the following goof: “Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage.” — Football commentator Emmit Smith (thanks to Richard Oberholzer.
FIRST TEE SCHOLAR ANNOUNCED: Nathan Fuller is a senior at Union Mine High School. It has been announced that Nathan has been selected as a “First Tee Scholar” for the Class of 2013. Nathan is at the Eagle level in his “Life Skills” category and has participated on the TFTGS Golf Tour for the past four years. Angie Dixon, TFTGS executive director, describes Nathan as “a respectful young man who is well liked by everyone he comes in contact with. Nathan has a strong work ethic and drive to succeed that will take him far in the future.” Nathan, congratulations on your great effort. Keep it up!
PARKINSON’S SUPPORT GROUP AVAILABLE: The Placerville Parkinson’s Disease Support Group meets on the first Tuesday of each month at the Placerville Senior Center, 937 Spring St., from 1:30 to 3 p.m. Meetings include guest speakers. These meetings discuss advances in research and treatment of Parkinson’s. For more information, call Marlene Ruth at 530-644-3096 or Tom Schulz at 530-644-3473.
ANGER STINKS: The book “Live and Learn and Pass It On” contains life lessons from people, ages 5 to 95, such as the following lesson: “I’ve learned that anger manages everything poorly.” — Age 53
TAKE A HIKE! The public is invited to join the Maidu Group of the Sierra Club on a hike around Jenkinson Lake at Sly Park, Pollock Pines, on Saturday, Feb. 9. The hike is eight miles long, rain or shine (except if it’s snowing below 4,000 feet). Bring money for carpool drivers and a $5 donation. Hikers will meet at the CVS parking lot in Pollock Pines at 9 a.m. and carpool 4 miles to the trail head parking area. For more information, call John Le Pouvoir at 530-644-7295 or visit email@example.com.
ELIMINATE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: If you look at the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” calendar, the following statement is available: “In your quiet moments, are you busy being caught up? Are you planning, solving problems, and anticipating others? Are you plotting revenge or rehearsing conflicts? Are you sweating the small stuff in the silence of your own thinking?”
VETERANS FUNDRAISER: The VFW 2680 Ladies Auxiliary is hosting a fundraiser for a Veterans Spaghetti Dinner on Feb. 22, from 4 to 7 p.m., at the Veterans Memorial Building, 130 Placerville Dr. The dinner price is $8 per person and includes soft drinks and dessert.
FREE PREMIER SHOWING OF FILM: The Maidu Group, Sierra Club, invites the public to a free premier showing of “Mother . . . Caring for 7 Billion” film on Feb. 13, at 6:15 p.m., at the Cozmic Cafe, 594 Main St., Placerville. This film “tells the hopeful story of 2 families as they make decisions to improve the world for their children.” For more information, contact Karen Pitts at Karen.firstname.lastname@example.org or John Le Pouvoir at 530-644-7295.
A DALAI DILLY: Briefly review the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar, and you will see the following comment: “The fact that there is always a positive side to life is the one thing that gives me a lot of happiness. This world is not perfect. There are problems. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.