COURT TALK: Mike Raffety sent me the following court talk listed in the book titled “Disorder in the American Courts:” “Attorney: All your responses must be oral, OK.? What school did you go to? Witness: Oral.”
DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY: On Friday, Oct. 4, from 7 to 9 p.m., the Shingle Springs Community Center will host a dance night at the Center, 4440 South Shingle Rd. DJ Jamie Faw will provide the music, and light refreshments will be served. A $5 donation is welcome.
IMPORTED LOGIC? Paul and Wendy Chafer sent me the following “Feel Smarter” statement: “Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.” — Keppel Enderbery
FREEZE THE DECK: When is the last time you played Canasta? You can play Canasta every Friday at 1 p.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane.
DIET ADVICE: Neil Pfafman of Placerville forwarded the following “Chocolate Wisdom:” “Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.”
NON-PROFIT SHOWCASE MIXER: The El Dorado Hills, El Dorado County and Shingle Springs/Cameron Park Chambers are inviting the public to attend the “Non-profit Showcase Mixer” on Wednesday, Oct. 9, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., at the Holiday Inn Express, 4360 Town Center Blvd., El Dorado Hills. This is an opportunity to meet representatives from local, non-profit organizations and to learn the various ways to lend a helping hand to those in need. No RSVP is necessary.
PLACERVILLE PIONEER PERFORMANCES: Placerville Shakespeare Club is offering a unique presentation of notable pioneer women’s stories on the following dates: Oct. 11: Evening Dessert Buffet Performance, doors open at 6 p.m., performance at 7:15 p.m. Oct. 20: Afternoon Tea Performance, doors open at noon, tea served at 1 p.m., performance follows. For the performances, ladies will be dressed in period costumes and will present character vignettes of selected pioneer women of El Dorado County. Tickets for each performance are $20. The performances will take place at the Clubhouse, 2940 Bedord Ave., Placerville. Tickets and further information are available from Margriet 530-621-1126 or Joy 916-505-6964 or email firstname.lastname@example.org or the Historical Cary House Hotel 530-622-4271.
AFFORDABLE BOOKS FOR SALE: The Cameron Park Library’s used book sale will take place on Oct. 12 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the library, 2500 Country Club Dr. Everything is on sale for $5 a bag. Children’s books are 10 cents each. Buy a canvas county library bag for $10 and fill it with hard cover books for free on Oct. 12.
DINNER AND COSTUME BALL: ”Hands 4 Hope” is presenting their 4th annual benefit dinner and costume ball on Saturday, Oct. 12, from 6 to 11 p.m., at the Mercedes-Benz dealership in El Dorado Hills. Tickets are $85 and can be obtained by calling 916-484-5873. The theme this year is “Thieves in the Temple” and will have an Indiana Jones/Lara Croft Tomb Raider/The Mummy feel to it. Your ticket includes dinner, live music by the “Boogie Shooz” band, a hosted bar, silent and live auctions, a dessert auction and costume contest.
VISION CENTER YARD SALE: The El Dorado Center for the Visually Impaired is having their closing yard sale Oct. 11 through Oct. 13, from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., each day. The sale includes furniture, kitchen items, office and computer items and garden tools. The sale will be at 4600 Farsworth Lane, El Dorado. Follow the signs from Pleasant Valley and Oak Dell Road. For more information, call 530-622-6860.
BLOOD DRIVE IN THE HILLS: The El Dorado Hills Community Blood Drive is scheduled for Monday, Oct. 14, from 1:30 to 6:30 p.m., in the CSD parking lot, El Dorado Hills Blvd. and Harvard Way, El Dorado Hills. Walk-ins are welcome, and childcare is available. Bring a photo ID and eat and drink before donating blood.
PLAN YOUR FINAL ARRANGEMENTS: A class titled “Your Life, Your Legacy” is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 18, at 11 a.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. This fast-moving program addresses the importance of making your final arrangements in advance and the steps you should take before you quit this earth.
MEET LOCAL AUTHORS: On Saturday, Oct. 19, you can meet five local authors at the Placerville Main Library, 345 Fair Lane. The following authors will be present: Keli Gwyn, Karen Sandler, Susan Salluce, Betty Sederquist, and Betty Shannon. From 1 to 2 p.m., the five authors will offer presentations regarding their secrets to success and how they arranged to be published. From 2 to 4 p.m., you can meet, one-on-one-, with the authors. You may also purchase their autographed books, if you desire.
SPEEDING EQUALS HOSPITAL: Jewel Blair-Smith forwarded the following Burma Shave sign statement: “Brother Speeder — Let’s Rehearse — All Together — Good Morning, Nurse.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.