CLOTHES ARE IRRELEVANT: Clara Neilsen of Placerville gave me the “Live and Learn and Pass It On” book, which offered the following thought from an 80-year old: “I’ve learned that a mule dressed in a tuxedo is still a mule.”
ROCKHOUNDS AND GEMS UNITE: The Rock and Gem Show is scheduled for Oct. 20 and 21, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., at the El Dorado County Fairgrounds, 100 Placerville Dr. There will be free activities and rocks for kids. For adults, there will be lots of displays, dealers, demonstrations and presentations. Admission is $4. Kids 12 and under are admitted free. If you bring a gently used coat for a kid, $1will be reduced for adult ticket.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE EVENT: ”Make a Difference Day” is scheduled for Sat., Oct. 20, from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., at the MORE building, 399 Placerville Dr., Placerville. The public is invited to join the Gold Country Chapter Sewing Guild members. Participants will be making Christmas stockings and fleece hats for those needing them. Bring your sewing machine and supplies. All fabric, ready to sew, will be provided. Non-sewers are also needed. For more information, call 916-817-1524.
SAVE YOUR CHOPSTICKS: Thumbing through the “Who Knew?” calendar resulted in the following find: “The next time you get chopsticks with your Chinese take-out, keep a few for your kitchen. Even if you haven’t mastered the art of eating with them, they’re perfect for leveling off cups of flour and other dry goods.”
SPOOKY TIME IN PLACERVILLE: ”Not Too Spooky Storytime” will be presented on Friday, Oct. 26, at 10:30 a.m., at the Placerville Main Library, 345 Fair Lane. This program is for children, ages 2 and older and their adults. There will also be fun crafts, gooey snacks and trick or treating time. Costumes are welcome!
CREATING HOLY WATER: Carly White provided the following “Your Laugh for Today” pun: “How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!”
HALLOWEEN PARTY TIME: On Saturday, Oct. 27, Burke Junction merchants are presenting its first Halloween party from 5 to 8:30 p.m. Live music will be provided by the “3! Band.” There will be dancing and a costume contest. Prizes for “Best Costume” will be awarded at 8:30 p.m. Burke Junction is located at 3300 Coach Lane, Cameron Park. For more information regarding other Halloween activities, call 530-677-5282.
DON’T TAKE THE FUTURE TOO SERIOUSLY: Look over the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” calendar, and you will find the following statement: “Some planning, anticipating, and looking forward to future events and accomplishments are an important and necessary part of success. However, most of us take this planning far too seriously and engage in futuristic thinking far too often. We sacrifice the actual moments of life in exchange for moments that exist only in our imaginations. An imagined future may or may not ever come true.”
JURY QUANDARY: A dinner show titled “And the Jury Was Hung” will be presented on Saturday, Oct. 27, at 5 p.m., at El Dorado Community Church, 4701 Church St., El Dorado. Doors open at 4:30 p.m. Tickets are $8 each and include dinner and the play. There will also be a craft and bake sale. For tickets, call 530-621-1766 and ask for Marti Dunn.
FREE HALLOWEEN FUN! The Calvary Chapel Church is presenting “Harvest Night” on Oct. 31, Halloween night, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m., at the El Dorado Country Fairgrounds, Placerville Dr., Placerville. There will be family fun, games, crafts activities, and food — all free. For more information, call 530-626-8484 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
DEAD TIRED: Richard Lederer’s “Anguished English” calendar noted the following “Wholly Holy Blooper:” “We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover.”
AWARD APPLICATIONS NEEDED: Placerville Soroptimist Club is seeking applicants for the Violet Richardson award, which honors women between the ages of 14 and 17, for volunteer action such as fighting drugs, crime and violence, cleaning up the environment or working to end discrimination and poverty. This award includes money presented to winners. Applications for the award program are available by contacting Tanya Moran at 530-919-4612 or 530-344-1476; on website at siplacerville.org; or by e-mailing email@example.com. Applications must be returned to Soroptimist International of Placerville by Dec. 15.
HELP FEED THE HUNGRY: The “Empty Bowls Supper” fundraiser is scheduled for Saturday, Nov. 3, from 4:30 to 8 p.m., at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church hall, Sacramento and Fiske St., Placerville. This fundraiser is to help raise funds to feed the poor locally and abroad, including our Upper Room dining hall in Placerville. The supper includes a home-cooked meal of soup, bread and beverage. You get to keep the homemade bowl. There will also be live music and a silent auction. For more information, to volunteer or donate, contact Maureen Dion-Perry, firstname.lastname@example.org. or 530-647-9546.
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.