TRUTH IN ADVERTISING: Thanks to John Chapman, we offer the following T-shirt statement: “I’d Rather Die From Too Much BBQ Than Not Enough Brussels Sprouts.”
SANDBAGS FOR FLOODING: If you need sandbags to protect your property from flooding problems, people in the Cameron Park area can get sandbags at Fire Station 89, 3200 Country Club Dr., in the back lot. Check in with staff at the station for assistance or call 530-677-6190 for more information.
JUST BE LIKEABLE: ”Live and Learn and Pass It On” is a book provided by Clara Neilsen. People, ages 5 to 95, pass on life lessons, such as the following: “I’ve learned that when you can be either brilliant or pleasant, choose pleasant.” — Age 53.
SENIOR CENTERS CLOSED FOR HOLIDAYS: Our Senior Centers will be closed for the following holiday observances: Jan. 1 – New Year’s Holiday; Jan. 21 – Martin Luther King Jr. Day; Feb. 18 – President’s Day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS NEEDED: Bridge players play every week on Monday, 1:30 to 4 p.m., and Wednesday, 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., at the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Drive. Walk-ins are welcome. For more information, call 530-677-7696.
ENERGY SAVING NEWS: The Weatherization Program can provide free energy efficiency upgrades to qualified low-income households for homeowners and renters. Services may include weatherstripping, insulation fans, minor house repairs and more. You can obtain application by contacting the El Dorado County Health and Human Services Agency at 530-621-6150 or on-line at edcgov.us/humanservices/homeweatherization. Applications may also be picked up at 937 Spring St., Placerville, 530-621-6150.
LET’S TALK ABOUT IT: A topical discussion group titled “Let’s Talk” meets on the first Thursday of each month at 10 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. The topic for discussion on Jan. 3 will be “What Was Your Favorite Vacation?” This discussion group is led by Terry Provenza. Drop-ins are welcome.
AN EARFUL OF HELL: Richard Lederer’s “Anguished English” calendar set forth the following “Wholly Holy Blooper:” “Tonight’s sermon: ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.”
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY: A class titled “Let’s Uke!” is being offered on Mondays from 1 to 1:45 p.m., from Jan. 7 through Feb. 4, at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Way. You will learn how to play the ukulele. Bring your ukulele if you have one. You can pick up an information sheet on purchasing a uke ($30) and the book for the class when you register for this class. The class fee is $36, and the class instructor is Lew Johnson. Register by calling 916-933-6624.
REHABILITATION TIME FOR ME: I am a tad concerned that my wife, Monika, informs me that she is working on my New Year’s resolutions. She also reports that she has a blister on her writing finger, and she is not finished with the list of my resolutions. By Dec. 31, 2013, I should be a perfect person!
IMPROVE YOUR PAINTING SKILLS: To develop your artistic painting confidence, you can register for a class titled “Painting: Choose Your Medium.” The class is offered on Tuesdays, Jan. 15 through Feb. 19, from 9 to 11 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Mary Weatherware is the instructor. The class feed is $60. If you own painting supplies, bring them, or bring a $25 supply fee for the instructor. You must register one week prior to the class by calling 916-933-6624.
POT STICKERS PARADISE: Would you like to learn how to make pot stickers? A class titled “Got Pot Stickers?” is being offered on Wednesday, Jan. 23, from 2:30 to 3:45 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. Bring a $10 supply fee to the senior center to reserve your spot. Judy Chu Barnes is the class instructor.
HANGTOWN HOLD’EM TIME: The El Dorado County Chamber of Commerce is presenting the seventh annual “Hangtown (Texas) Hold’em” card tournament on Jan. 26 at the Marshall Room, El Dorado County Fairgrounds, Placerville. There is a $50 buy-in fee. $25 re-buys and $25 add-ons will be available. A no-host bar, food and raffle prizes are also featured. Prizes valued up to $500 will be offered. You may register online at www.eldoradocounty.org or call 530-621-5885. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the care and training of Hangtown Hawk, Placerville Police Department’s blood hound.
SAFARI ADVENTURE TIME: All West Tours is offering a “Safari West” trip for seniors on Wednesday, April 10. The tour includes “All West Transportation (bus); guided trek on the Sonoma Serengeti; stroll through the aviary ands visit the giraffes; Safari Ranch-style buffet lunch; driver gratuity.” The price for this one-day trip is $135 per person. These All West Tours sell out very quickly. To reserve your spot, call Star Walker at 621-6255.
NEED MORE HARD TIMES? When you review the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” calendar, you will find the following notion: “When a life is too easy, there are fewer opportunities for genuine growth.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.