PUNCTUATION SAVES LIVES: John Chapman sent me the following T-shirt statement: “Let’s Eat Grandma. Let’s Eat, Grandma. — Commas save lives.”
GAMBLER’S DELIGHT: The El Dorado County Chamber of Commerce is presenting the seventh annual “Hangtown (Texas) Hold’em” card tournament on Jan. 26 at the Marshall Room, El Dorado County Fairgrounds, Placerville. There is a $50 buy-in fee. $25 re-buys and $25 add-ons will be available. A no-host bar, food and raffle prizes are also featured. Prizes valued up to $500 will be offered. You may register online at www.eldoradocounty.org or call 530-621-5885. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the care and training of Hangtown Hank, Placerville Police Department’s blood hound.
BLOOD DONORS REWARDED: A blood drive is scheduled for Sunday, Jan. 20, from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., at the Regal Cinema Movie Theater, 337 Placerville Dr. Donors will receive a free movie pass. Walk-ins are welcome. Appointments are not necessary. Donors must weigh at least 110 pounds. There is no upper age limit for donors. You must be 17 to donate or 16 if you have a signed Blood Source Parental Consent Form. Donors must bring a photo ID.
MOVIES AT THE LIBRARY: Free movies will be shown at the Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Dr., on Jan. 23 and Jan. 30 at 1:30 p.m. For more information and titles of movies, call 530-621-5500.
OOPS — WRONG OATH: The “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar has the following “Oops” statement: “(I promise to) support, obey, and offend the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of Oklahoma. — Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin (R), during her swearing-in ceremony.”
MAXIMIZE YOUR WORKOUT: A class for seniors, titled “Still Going Strong,” is available on Tuesdays from 8 to 9 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. This class includes 20 minutes of cardio exercise, 20 minutes of strength exercise, and 20 minutes of core/flexibility. Bring some water, a mat, and weights. The class fee is $50 for a 10-class punch card or $80 for a 20-class punch card. Punch cards can be shared by husband and wife team. The instructor is Gina Bartok, certified senior fitness specialist.
NEED A RIDE? Transportation to our local senior centers is available. Call Dial-A-Ride at 530-642-3696 to arrange for transportation to senior centers or, possibly, other appointments.
JAM RIGHT! Clara Neilsen gave me the book, “Live and Learn and Pass It On.” This book offers life lessons from people, ages 5 to 95, such as the following truism: “I’ve learned that when I drop a slice of bread with jelly on it, it always lands jelly-side down.” — Age 33.
IMPROVE YOUR BRIDGE GAME: On Wednesday, from 10 to 11:30 a.m., bridge players practice and receive informal lessons at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. The daily drop-in fee is $3. Bill Taggart is the instructor.
TRICKY MANEUVER: Richard Lederer’s “Anguished English” calendar noted the following “Medical-Speak:” “Patient states he hit his head on his forehead.”
VENDORS NEEDED: Vendors are needed and welcome for the third annual “Reds, White and Jewels” festival, which will feature jewelry from artists and vendors on Saturday, Feb. 2, from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., at the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Drive. Wine tasting will be available. A 10 x 10 vendor space costs $50. Electricity is $10. For more information, contact website cameronpark.org; email at firstname.lastname@example.org; or call 530-677-2231.
RECOLLECTIONS OF EL DORADO COUNTY: A new class titled “The History of El Dorado County” will be offered on Tuesday, Feb. 5, at 1 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. The class starts with information regarding Native Americans who lived in our county before the Gold Rush. Photographs and artifacts will be presented. The speaker will be Mary Cory, director of the El Dorado County Historical Museum. Call 916-358-3575 to reserve your spot.
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE: The “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” calendar presented the following remark: “We all engage in negative mental activity from time to time, and any isolated set of thoughts probably isn’t going to make much of a difference. The problem is when this type of thinking becomes a habit — so much so that we’re not even aware that we’re doing it. We simply go on practicing, practicing, and practicing some more. The question is, What are we practicing? The answer is unhappiness.”
WRITTEN AND VERBAL FUN: The Cameron Park Book Club meets at the Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Drive. The next meeting will be on Feb. 4 at 11 a.m. Club members read and discuss current best sellers and classics, too. For more information, call Doris Folk at 530-350-7596.
A DALAI DILLY: Read the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar, and you will discover the following thought: “Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.