Heard over the back fence: Spend an evening with Mark Twain

GO EASY, MY FRIEND:
 The “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” calendar notes the following advice: “The world has become too serious. If you’re part of this sad trend, it’s time to change — get out of the grumble mode. Life is really short. It’s too important to take so seriously.”

WINE FOR WORDS FUNDRAISER:
 “An Evening of Mark Twain” is being presented by world-renowned expert on Mark Twain. Robert H. Hirst will discuss “Tales from Mark Twain papers, newfound stories and anecdotes by Twain.” This fun-filled event is scheduled for Sunday, Aug. 26, from 4 to 8 p.m., at the El Dorado County Main Library, 345 Fair Lane, Placerville. Your ticket privileges also include wine tasting, dinner by Diane Wilkinson, a book signing, raffle and silent auction. Tickets are $50 for Friends of the Library or $60 for non-members. For ticket purchase and book sale information, call the Main Library at 530-621-5540 or visit the library’s Website: eldoradolibrary.org.

CARS EVERYWHERE: 
The Hangtown Car Show will take place on Thursday, Aug. 23, from 5 to 8 p.m. on Main St., Placerville. Admission and parking are free for spectators. To pre-register or for more information, call 530-622-1731.

SAVE MONEY ON GAS:
A glance at the “Who Knew?” calendar provides the following money-saving suggestion: “The cheapest time to refuel your car is on Tuesday and Wednesday. People fuel up on Thursdays and Fridays for weekend trips, and on Monday for their work week. Therefore, most gas stations do their weekly price changes on Tuesdays or Wednesdays.” 

KACIE’S RIDE FOR HOPE: 
Main Street, Placerville, will close for this important fundraiser motorcycle run, which raises awareness and money to fight against domestic violence. The motorcycle run will be from 8 to 11 a.m. on Saturday, Sept 8. Proceeds will benefit the programs at the Center for Violence Free Relationships in Placerville. For more information, visit kaciesrideforhope@sbcglobal.net.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER:
 Thanks to Editor Mike Raffety, the following quote from “Springs of Greek Wisdom” is offered: “Remember, no human condition is ever permanent, then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune, nor too sorrowful in misfortune.” — Isocrates

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED: 
The Cameron Park Community Services District needs volunteers to help with special events. If you or your organization would like to volunteer, call 530-677-2231.

ONE WORD – MANY MEANINGS: 
Normadine Carpenter of Placerville forwarded the following observation: “NOTICE HOW THE WORD “ONLY” CAN CHANGE THE MEANING!!
Only he kissed the girl yesterday.
He only kissed the girl yesterday.
He kissed only the girl yesterday.
He kissed the only girl yesterday.
He kissed the girl only yesterday.
He kissed the girl yesterday only.”

BIRTHDAY AT THE BEACH:
 Ron and Audrey Depass of Pollock Pines celebrated Audrey’s 88th birthday in Monterey on July 20 and celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary on Aug. 15. Happy birthday, Audrey, and happy anniversary to both of you!

GET MARRIED OR ELSE:
 Richard Lederer’s “Anguished English” calendar reveals the following “advertisement:” “Like new. 16-gauge shotgun for sale cheap. Also wedding dress and veil.” 

BEGINNERS COMPUTER LESSONS: 
If you want to learn the basics of computer skills, including Internet and e-mail, call 916-358-3575 to sign up for 3 free lessons. Volunteer instructors work with students, one-on-one. Seniors must have a computer (PC or MAC) for practice. Weekly homework is required.

RECOGNIZING A DUMMY:
I propose we create the following bumper sticker: “The really dumb ones ride my bumper.”

BOOKS FOR PRESCHOOLERS:
 Books about preschool and day care are available at our libraries. They are listed in a pamphlet titled “School Days: Books about School for Young Children.” A couple of titles include: “My first Day at Nursery School” and “Off to First Grade.”

CONGRESSIONAL NOTES:
 Janet Rodgers of Placerville forwarded the following Will Rodgers statement: “Congress is so strange . . . a man gets up to speak and says nothing . . . nobody listens and then everybody agrees.”

READING HAS GONE TO THE DOGS:
 The “Paws for Reading” program takes place on Tuesday afternoons at the Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Drive, at 4 p.m. Young children can practice their reading skills to canine buddies Douglas and Lamar. Make your reservation by calling Nancy at 530-621-5500.

DEALING WITH DIABETES:
 The Marshall Medical Center is sponsoring a class titled, “Diabetes Education: Your Plan for Success.” The class is scheduled for Tuesday, Sept. 11, from 1 to 3 p.m., in Cameron Park. The class is designed to help participants gain a better understanding of reducing risk of complications, making exercise work for you, staying motivated, and will discuss diabetes and emotions. Class fees are covered by most insurance plans, including Medicare with MD referral. For exact location information and to register for class, call 530-672-7021.

A DALAI DILLY:
 Opening the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar, I located the following statement: “If you have a basic concern for others, even failure cannot disturb your mind.”

Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.

Bob Billingsley

Bob Billingsley writes Heard Over the Back Fence three times a week, keeping his pen on the pulse of the community. He also writes a biweekly column called Billingsley's Bullets, in which he uses “sideways” thinking to make your day a little easier to handle.

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