PATIENCE IS CHEAPER: John Chapman forwarded the following T-shirt statement: “Lord, Give Me Patience – – -Because if you give me STRENGTH, I’m Gonna Need BAIL MONEY to go with it!”
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS: I just received information that the “Sew for Vets” will make neck and helmet coolers for our troops in the war zones. A workshop is scheduled for tomorrow, Sept. 12, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Veterans Memorial Building, 130 Placerville Drive. The public is invited to bring their sewing machine, scissors and other sewing items to join the workshop. Please RSVP today to Karen Wilson at 530-676-2022.
KNOW YOUR BODY: A glance at the “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar reveals the following wrong answer: “Family Fortunes host: What do you hide in your socks when you go swimming? Contestant: Your legs.”
FUNDRAISER FOR THE TROOPS: On Friday, Sept. 20, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m., the Pleasant Valley Grange women will present a fundraiser spaghetti dinner at the Pleasant Valley Grange, 4765 Pleasant Valley Grange Rd., Placerville. Tickets are $10. Kids 12 and under pay $5. The Whiskey Beggars Band will provide entertainment. This event is a fundraiser for the “Packages and Prayers to Support Our Troops” program. For more information, call 530-295-9373.
CHOCOLATE ADVICE: Neil Pfafman of Placerville provided the following “chocolate comment:” “If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.”
CHANGE OF NAME? I have been thinking about going to court and changing my great-granddaughter’s name from Daisy Michele Billingsley to “I like Papa best.”
A DALAI DILLY: If you review the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar, you will see the following statement: “Ideals are very important in one’s life. Without ideals you cannot move — whether you achieve them or not is immaterial. But one must try and approximate them.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.