MARRY A GARBAGE MAN: Paul and Wendy Chafer forwarded the following quotation: “I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor.
STROLLING MEMORY LANE: Every third Saturday of the month, through October, the El Dorado County Historical Society will conduct guided tours of historical Main Steet, Placerville. The tour meets at the Fountain and Tallman Soda Works Building, 524 Main St., at 10:30 a.m. Society docents (in period costume) will lead the tour. Also, you can book tours by special arrangements. For more information, call Marilyn Ferguson at 530-626-0773.
TROUT UNLIMITED FUNDRAISER: On Aug. 17, from noon to 4 p.m., the Trout Unlimited Club is presenting a fundraiser at Findleton Estate Winery, 3500 Carson Rd., Camino, to benefit “Casting for Recovery.” There will be wine tasting, a live auction, and food provided by Stumble Inn Pub. “Casting for Recovery” is a non-profit support and education program that takes women in all stages of breast cancer on a fully-paid retreat in Northern California, where they will also learn about the sport of fly fishing. For more information, visit eldoradotu.org/contact-us.html.
DO IT NOW: Jewel Blair-Smith sent the following quote: “Aspire to inspire before you expire.”
HANGTOWN DESTRUCTION DERBY: The Hangtown Destruction Derby is scheduled for Sunday, Aug. 18, at 3 p.m., at the El Dorado County Fairgrounds. You can watch as police, fire and emergency medical personnel ram each other in their old cars. For ticket and other information, call 530-642-5210.
PULL THOSE PANTS UP! Recently, Bob Edwards was working on a Rotarian project, carrying very heavy display boards. Bob could not let go of the display board, and his jeans started slipping to the ground! Fellow Rotarian Caroline Mohlstrom stepped in behind Bob, grabbed his belt, and brought the jeans back to where they should be. She walked behind him until the board was delivered. Rotarian cooperation is an impressive thing to witness. The club needs to buy Bob suspenders!
NEED A JOB? On Wednesday, Aug. 21, at 10:30 a.m., the El Dorado County Connections — One Stop, will host an “Employer Forum” at the Child Support Services Building, 3883 Ponderosa Rd., Shingle Springs. A representative from the El Dorado Irrigation District will present this forum. Attendees should dress in interview attire and bring a resume. There will be an opportunity to briefly meet with the EID representative.
INVESTIGATE YOUR FAMILY: The “Roots and Gold Dust” meeting is scheduled for Aug. 20 at 1 p.m. at the LDS Family Center, 3275 Cedar Ravine Rd., Placerville. This program will be a roundtable discussion comparing e-pedigrees sites (Ancestry and Family Search) with personal pedigree-holding software.
COMPUTER CONFUSION: Thumbing through the “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar, I found the following information: “TECH SUPPORT: OK, ma’am, do you see the button on the right-hand side of your mouse? CALLER: No. There’s just a printer and a phone on the right-hand side of my mouse.”
CITIZENS LAW ACADEMY AVAILABLE: The free 17-week “Citizens Law Enforcement Academy” begins Aug. 27, from 6 to 9 p.m., one night a week. Applications are available on the sheriff’s Website at edcgov.us/Government/Sheriff/Programs/Citizen_s_Academy.aspx. For general questions regarding the program, call Sgt. Jeff Leikauf at 530-621-7400, Ext. 8211, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
NEW NEWCOMERS CLUB OFFICERS: The Placerville Fellowship and Newcomers Club is very pleased to announce the following new officers for 2013-2014: President Jennifer Stoeckle; Vice President Shirley Riley; Recording Secretary Judi McDaniel; Corresponding Secretary Marie Perry; Treasurer Doris Sachs.
GETTING FIT IN A CHAIR: A new class titled “Sit and Get Fit” is offered on Mondays and Wednesdays from 10:15 to 11:15 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. In this class you train the entire body, using various pieces of equipment while remaining seated. Bring water to class. The class fee is $50 for a 10-class punch card or $80 for a 20-class punch card. The instructor is Gina Bartok, certified senior fitness specialist.
MOM AND DAD APPROVAL: Clara Neilsen gave me the book, “Live and Learn and Pass It On,” which noted the following life lesson: “I’ve learned that I will always be seeking my parents’ approval.” — Age 39
OLDE COLOMA THEATRE FUN: When was the last time you visited the Olde Coloma Theatre in Coloma? The current production playing is “The Tea House of Ill Repute or a Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Convent.” This play runs from August through September. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. Curtain rises at 8 p.m. Plays are offered every Friday and Saturday night. To make reservations or for more information, call 530-626-5282.
A DALAI DILLY: Review the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar, and you will discover the following thought: “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.