CREATURE ADVICE: John Chapman provided the following T-shirt “Advice from a Spider” statement: “Make good connections. Be Web savvy. Patience pays off. Let go of your hang-ups. Show your artistic side. Dew your best. Don’t get strung out!”
“LET’S TALK” MEETING: “Let’s Talk” is a topical, senior discussion group led by Terry Provenza. It will meet tomorrow, May 2, at 10 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane. The discussion topic will be “Siblings.”
PRAYER BREAKFAST TIME: To recognize the National Day of Prayer, a free prayer breakfast is scheduled for Thursday, May 2, at 6:45 a.m. at the Cold Springs Community Church, 2600 Cold Springs Rd., Placerville. Also, at 5:45 p.m., there will be a prayer service at the Courthouse steps on Main Street, Placerville.
DEFINING HYPOCRISY: Heidi Barron provided the following “I Can Hear My Mom Now!” quote: “My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: ‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’”
AP EXAMS STUDY GROUP: An AP (Advanced Placement) Exam Study-A-Thon is available on Sunday, May 5, from 4 to 8 p.m., at the El Dorado Hills Library, 7455 Silva Valley Parkway. Bring your study group and cram for AP Exams. This “Study-A-Thon” is for high school students only. Bring your student ID card with you. Free pizza will be available! For more information, call 916-358-3500.
WHAT ABOUT BOB? Carlyn White sent the following “Just Grins and Snickers” statement: “John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, ‘Give me one last request, dear,’ he said. ‘Of course, John,’ his wife said softly. ‘Six months after I die,’ he said, ‘I want you to marry Bob.’ ‘But I thought you hated Bob,’ she said. With his last breath John said, ‘I do!’”
TACO FIESTA FUNDRAISER: A “Cinco de Mayo Taco Fiesta” is scheduled one day early. On Saturday, May 4, from 4 to 8 p.m., you can purchase tacos at the Mother Lode Lions Hall, corner of Missouri Flat Rd. and Pleasant Valley Rd., Diamond Springs. You can eat the tacos in the hall or buy them to take home. Tacos are $1.50 each or four for $5. You may also purchase a dinner of 2 tacos, beans and rice for $6.
RESCUE THOSE ANIMALS! On Saturday, May 4, from 10 a.m. to noon, Sierra Wildlife Rescue will offer a class titled “Principles sand Procedures for Intake and Triage for Avian and Animals.” This class will be at SWR’s Wildlife Center, 3030 Newtown Rd., Placerville. Please reserve a spot in any class in advance by contacting Barbara Barker at email@example.com or 530-621-2650.
NEWCOMERS INFORMATION: Are you new to El Dorado Hills? On Saturday, May 4, the Welcome Center, 2085 Vine St., El Dorado Hills (Town Center), in conjunction with the El Dorado Hills Chamber of Commerce, is presenting a program for newcomers in the El Dorado Hills area. The question and answer session is scheduled from 10 to 11 a.m. at the Welcome Center. Each attendee will receive a “Relocation Packet” containing information about schools, post office, grocery stores, services, local newspapers and much more. To reserve your spot, please call 916-358-3700.
CASA NEEDS YOU! CASA El Dorado trains community members to “advocate for abused and neglected children in court and in life.” To learn more about CASA, informational meetings are scheduled for May 14 and June 3, from 6 to 7 p.m., at the CASA office, 347 Main St., Placerville (above Robinson’s Pharmacy). Also, to learn more about CASA, call 530-622-9882 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
FIREFIGHTER HONORED: El Dorado Hills firefighter Matt Belleci was named “Firefighter of the Year” at a recent Rotary Club of El Dorado Hills meeting. Matt spearheaded a huge project to plan a large-scale training exercise in the Lakehills neighborhood. Fire Chief Dave Roberts stated, “Matt did an amazing job.” Congratulations, Matt! We love our firefighters!
LET’S GET REAL: A glance at the “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar reveals the following “green idea:” “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting — only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.” — Singer Sheryl Crow
REPUBLICAN WOMEN GATHERING: On Monday, May 13, the El Dorado West Republican Women Federated will meet at 11:15 a.m. at Denny’s Restaurant, 3446 Coach Lane, Cameron Park. The speaker will be Carol Hadley from California Republican Women Federated. For more information, call Jan Libert at 530-676-8380.
A DALAI DILLY: The following statement appears in the “Insight from the Dalai Lama” calendar: “In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 1360 Broadway. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.