PRESS ‘ONE’ FOR ENGLISH: My doughnut pal John Chapman provided the following T-shirt statement: “Why Do I Have To Press ‘One’ For English When You’re Just Going To Transfer Me To Someone I Can’t Understand Anyway?”
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WILD THINGS IN THE LIBRARY: A “Wild Things Animal Show” is scheduled for Thursday, July 17, at 10 a.m. and at 11 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Library, 7455 Silva Valley Parkway. Youngsters will enjoy meeting the animals. Tickets are required. “Tickets will be handed out in the library the week leading up to each performance. Please refer to the “available” date for the specific distribution day. You must come to the library in person for your ticket (limit 4 per person). Tickets are free, but limited per performance to comply with the fire safety regulations. You must have a ticket for entry. No exceptions. NO LATE SEATING.” For more information, call 916-358-3500.
TOWN CENTER FARMER’S MARKET: The El Dorado Hills Town Center hosts a Farmer’s Market on Sundays from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Town Center Boulevard in the shopping center.
MAGIC DAN IS COMING: The “Magic Dan” show will be at the Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Dr., on Thursday, July 24, at 2 p.m. Kids and adults enjoy watching Magic Dan in action.
DO YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER? The “Writers’ Bloc” group meets on the first Saturday of the month from 1-3 p.m. at the Placerville County Library, 345 Fair Lane. Teens and adults are invited. Drop-ins are welcome. At the meetings you can share your passion for writing, hone your writing skills, and gain encouragement from other group members. Members are encouraged to submit a manuscript of no more than five pages, and to bring 8 copies for group discussion.
WHAT TIME IS IT? Jewel Blair-Smith sent the following “Old Folks” quote: “HOSPITAL REGULATIONS REQUIRE a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’”
SCHOLARSHIP WINNERS: To help high school students with upcoming college expenses, the Placerville Shakespeare Club awarded six scholarships to the following students: El Dorado High: Donecia Barrett, Myra Little, Juliana Brown. Golden Sierra High: Danay Nipar. Oak Ridge High: Moira McVicar. Ponderosa High: Melissa Criddle.
ENJOY LIVE MUSIC: A presentation titled “David Sharp, Papa Hugs” will take place on Thursday, July 24, at 10 a.m. at the El Dorado Hills Library, 7455 Silva Valley Parkway. You can enjoy live music performed by the Grammy nominated musician. A ticket is required. “Tickets will be handed out in the library the week leading up to each performance. Please refer to the ‘available’ date for the specific distribution day. You must come to the library in person for your ticket (limit 4 per person). Tickets are free but limited per performance to comply with fire safety regulations. You must have a ticket for entry. No exceptions. NO LATE SEATING.”
RELIGION PAYS OFF: The “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” calendar notes the following observation: “At 86 years, nuns have the longest life expectancy of any group in the U.S.”
BOOKS AND MOVIES AVAILABLE: The El Dorado Hills Senior Center, 990 Lassen Lane, has books and some movies that seniors can check out. The Senior Center also has a computer with a large screen for seniors to use.
BEER BY LIMOUSINE: A tour of micro breweries is scheduled for Friday, Aug. 15, from 4 to 10 p.m. at the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Dr. “About Time Limousines” will provide transportation. The fee is $49 for Cameron Park residents or $54 for non-residents. To register for the tour, call 530-677-2231.
TEEN READING PROGRAM: The “Teen Summer Reading Program” offers free books and prizes. Teens meet on Tuesdays at the Cameron Park Library, 2500 Country Club Dr., at 1 p.m. For more information and a schedule of upcoming events, call 530-621-5500.
THINK BEFORE YOU JUMP: Editor Mike Raffety provided the following quotation from comic Steven Wright: “If at first you don’t succeed, sky diving is not for you.”
YELL BINGO! Bingo is played on the second Tuesday of each month from 1 to 3 p.m. at the Cameron Park Community Center, 2502 Country Club Dr. Upcoming dates include July 8 and Aug. 12.
SENIOR PEER COUNSELING: Are you struggling with anger, loneliness, grief or stress? The Senior Stress Peer Counseling may be able to help you through difficult times. Call 530-621-6304 to arrange your appointment.
A ZEN ZINGER: Review the “Zen” calendar, and you will discover the following observation: “Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now — always.” — Albert Schweitzer
Send your jokes and event items for Heard Over the Back Fence column three weeks in advance to Bob Billingsley at the Mountain Democrat, PO Box 1088, Placerville 95667, or drop them off at 2889 Ray Lawyer Dr. First and last name of contact person are required. Phone 530-344-5036. Follow @BBillingsleyMtDemo on Twitter.