Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Billingsley’s Bullets: A saint is born?

From page A6 | August 02, 2013 | 2 Comments

The Billingsley clan is thrilled to welcome Daisy Michele Billingsley to our family and our lives. Daisy entered this world on July 14, and she and mother, Rebecca Monique Billingsley, are doing just fine.

• Within 30 minutes of her birth, I was rocking her and singing old folk songs to her. When I kissed her on the cheek, I heard her say, “I like you the best, Papa.” It’s funny that no one else in the room heard these words! For a newborn to be able to speak within a half an hour of her birth seems like a miracle to me.

• To become a Catholic saint, you need to have two miracles under your belt. Daisy has one miracle already, so sainthood seems probable. Plus, she looks like a perfect angel. Saint Billingsley has a nice ring to it!

• In his book “Real Magic,” Dr. Wayne Dyer, when discussing relationships, states, “Relinquish your need to be right. This is the single greatest cause of difficulties and deterioration in relationships. The spiritual partnership is a relationship of equals. No one needs to be proven wrong, stifle the need to make the other person wrong or to make yourself right, and you have created a miracle.”

• When a person consistently feels a need to dominate, it means his or her ego is in control. Ego control can occur at home, in the workplace, or even in a friendly social gathering.

• Ego-obsessed people experience fear when they are in a situation they are not controlling whatever is going on. They often enter jobs where they can control others and have the final word on decision making.

• From my stroll through life, I have noticed that ego-obsessed people always believe they have the right answer and are not open to other opinions or suggestions. Ego addicts are not likely to try new ideas or to experiment with life. They prefer the predictable. They want to be in places and with people who are not inclined to be creative. They want people to obey … not to think. No exotic vacations for the ego addicts. If you don’t know what to expect, how can you enjoy the experience? They prefer rules, regulations and lots of structure.

• Living with ego addicts is tough on the spouse and the kids. It gets really old adjusting to a person who absolutely believes he or she has the only answer. It’s tough to live with those who, deep down, believe their ideas and their philosophies make them perfect.

• If you are dating a person who fits this description of an ego addict, you need to confront them now. If they are not confronted, you are reinforcing their belief that they have the best and only answer. You will marry someone who actually believes you are not equal to him/her.

• Ego addicts believe that you will come around after you realize their answer is always better than your answer or your suggestion. They see themselves as destined to rescue you until you finally give up, roll over and allow them to control your entire life.

• I don’t associate, on a personal basis, with ego addicts. I can tolerate them in informal, social gatherings because I know I can walk away any time I want to.

• During my work life, I ran across a few ego addicts — two were bosses and one was a co-worker. I quickly sought out assignments that moved me to another office, away from those egos. I saw them at the company picnic and the Christmas party only.

• I am not sure if ego addicts, over the age of 30, can change. It’s better to move away from them early on in the relationship. Don’t marry them unless you are OK with not being an equal in a relationship.

Bob Billingsley is a columnist at the Mountain Democrat. His column appears bi-weekly. 

Bob Billingsley

Bob Billingsley writes Heard Over the Back Fence three times a week, keeping his pen on the pulse of the community. He also writes a biweekly column called Billingsley's Bullets, in which he uses “sideways” thinking to make your day a little easier to handle.

Discussion | 2 comments

  • Oh BrotherAugust 02, 2013 - 9:37 am

    Amen Mr. Billingsley...good article we can all take to heart. All step back and see if we fit in this category in any way and even if we are over 30, try to work on the issue. We have become a society of ego freaks and control freaks.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • Jim RiordanAugust 02, 2013 - 1:39 pm

    Congratulations Bob and Monika . . .

    Reply | Report abusive comment


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