Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Billingsley’s Bullets: Ageless joy is certainly possible

From page A4 | October 11, 2013 | 1 Comment

In my previous column, I mentioned that I have been giving presentations titled, “How to Create Ageless Joy.” This is the second column offering ageless joy suggestions.

• Joseph Campbell said, “Why do some people float in the waters that drown others?” My answer to Joseph Campbell would be, “Your attitude determines if you sink or swim.”

• If you enjoy inner peace and joy, outside events or people will not determine your state of mind. It also means you are responsible for your joy or lack of it in your life. To create ageless joy, you have to let go of negative attitudes, such as anger, revenge and jealousy. These are dumb emotions because they create harmful results that take you down. Joy cannot hold hands with harmful emotions.

• Joy is upbeat and optimistic. Joy is living in the present — this hour, this day. When you experience inner joy, you waste very little time regretting the past or worrying about the future. You can’t control the past or the future, so why devote time and energy to them?

• You do have control of right now, the present. You are the shot caller of this hour, this day. It’s possible for joy to grow in the present.

• For joy to become your friend, you need to let go of old and present fears. When you confront fear, the fear no longer lives, and you move forward. Joy doesn’t do well in a world of indifference. Joy thrives when you make decisions and solve problems. When you attack your fears, instead of avoiding them, joy is possible.

• Living a life of indifference means problems are never resolved, and the truth is rarely talked about. A marriage of indifference means both parties accept the way things are in the marriage and feel no need to rock the boat. There are very few highs in this relationship, and lows are denied for the sake of “getting along.”

• I guess it’s possible to have a marriage of indifference for 60 years if joy is not important to the wife or the husband. Perhaps a little bit of joy, occasionally, is better than divorce to some people.

• Life is too short to allow indifference to prevail in your marriage or in your job. Indifference means intimacy never existed or it died a slow, boring death. I believe it’s better to have highs and occasional lows in a relationship then it is to avoid intimacy for decades at a time.

• Indifference means you have given up on love, and the status quo is tolerable and uncomplicated. Couples prefer to avoid arguments rather than speak their minds. Giving in is easier than creating joy or having the courage to really speak your mind.

• Indifference also means that dreams are out the window. These indifferent couples are often financially secure but no longer see emotional and/or sexual happiness as possible in their house.

• The Buddha said, “Do not allow an older person to enter your body.” I personally think that exercise keeps you feeling younger, and ageless joy rides in the body and mind that feels good.

• Recently, a tennis injury resulted in my avoiding tennis and aerobic exercise for 12 days. By the twelfth day, I felt stiff, tired, bored and old. I had allowed an old person to enter my body, and he decided to stay.

• When I work out regularly, I sleep better and have lots of energy for everything. There is ageless joy in staying fit physically, and ageless joy is much more possible when you feel and react like a younger person.

• If you give up on exercising, your Lazy Boy chair becomes your soul mate, and daytime and nighttime television dominates your waking hours when you are not falling asleep in your chair.

• There is plenty of joy out there, folks, but you have to go after it. Joy makes the difference between a boring and a fun life. If you are bored, do something about it before it is too late.

Bob Billingsley is a columnist at the Mountain Democrat. His column appears bi-weekly. 

Bob Billingsley

Bob Billingsley writes Heard Over the Back Fence three times a week, keeping his pen on the pulse of the community. He also writes a biweekly column called Billingsley's Bullets, in which he uses “sideways” thinking to make your day a little easier to handle.

Discussion | 1 comment



Greenwood School being restored

By Rebecca Murphy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Cal Fire increasing staffing, hiring

By Cal Fire | From Page: B1

EID restricts watering days

By Michael Raffety | From Page: A1, 10 Comments

Lover’s Leap fall injures man

By Tahoe Tribune | From Page: A1

EDH Fire Dept. annexing Latrobe

By Noel Stack | From Page: A1, 6 Comments

Motorcycle fatality in Greenwood

By Cole Mayer | From Page: A1

Tea Party meeting April 17

By Tea Party Patriots Of El Dorado Hills | From Page: A3, 35 Comments

Town Hall Meeting on Underage Drinking May 1

By El Dorado Hills Community Vision Coalition | From Page: A6

Floating body not a body

By Cole Mayer | From Page: A7

Old mill a goner

By Dawn Hodson | From Page: A11, 5 Comments | Gallery



My turn: A fair California flat income tax

By Mark Belden | From Page: A4

DA Pierson has been outstanding

By Mountain Democrat | From Page: A4, 11 Comments



A great big thanks

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5

Murder? Suicide?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 4 Comments

‘Drive Clean’

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 3 Comments

Middle class getting poorer?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 27 Comments

Real estate lies

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 3 Comments



Outside with Charlie: Switch gear

By Charlie Ferris | From Page: A8

Ponderosa volleyball is a family affair

By Jerry Heinzer | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Aussie team makes visit

By Special to the Democrat | From Page: A8

Griz have challenging day

By Mike Bush | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Roundup: April 15, 2014

By Democrat Staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery



Runners stampede for Sugarloaf scholarships

By El Dorado County Office of Education | From Page: B2 | Gallery

At a glance: Take aim on fun

By Mimi Escabar | From Page: B2

Men to walk a mile in her shoes

By Center For Violence-Free Relationships | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Team works to fight disease

By Placerville Kiwanis | From Page: B3

COOL School is accepting applications

By Rescue Union | From Page: B4

Band of Miwoks fund mission

By Shingle Springs Band Of Miwok Indians | From Page: B12



Crime Log: March 25-27

By Cole Mayer | From Page: A2

Weather stats 4-15-14

By Michael Raffety | From Page: A2



Numa Edward “Ed” Roberts

By Contributor | From Page: A2

Ronald Russell Rohrer

By Contributor | From Page: A2, 1 Comment


Real Estate




By Contributor | From Page: A10

Flying McCoys

By Contributor | From Page: A10

Speed Bump

By Contributor | From Page: A10

Working It Out

By Contributor | From Page: A10


By Contributor | From Page: A10


By Contributor | From Page: A10

New York Times Crossword

By Contributor | From Page: A10


By Contributor | From Page: A10

Horoscope, Thursday, April 17, 2014

By Contributor | From Page: A10

Horoscope, Wednesday, April 16, 2014

By Contributor | From Page: A10

TV Listings

By Contributor | From Page: A10