Monday, July 21, 2014
PLACERVILLE, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Billingsley’s Bullets: Rigid, uptight people not welcome

By
From page A4 | March 01, 2013 |

Recently I completed a self-evaluation regarding the people I have coffee with and the people I hang around with. None of these people are doomsday types, and none are rigid, uptight people.

• Life is too short to spend time with boring people. You don’t learn anything from boring people, and they make you feel stupid, because you are wasting time being with them.

• The older I get, the easier it is to walk away from boring people and boring situations. Walking away gives me more time and energy to be with interesting people. An interesting coffee break can jar loose two or three “Bullet” columns in my head. If you watch me at a coffee break, you may see me jotting a few notes on napkins or on a page I just tore out of a magazine.

• If you want to keep the boring people out of your life, immediately ask them the following questions, and they will leave immediately:

— What are your most intimate thoughts?
— Has anyone ever accused you of being an interesting person?
— Is it OK if I kiss you on the lips before the coffee arrives?
— How about us having a food fight when the pastry arrives?
— Does it bother you that I am not wearing underwear?
— After we finish our coffee, should we tell the boss how stupid his new haircut looks?
— Are you OK with paying for the coffee? You had more fun than I did, so you should pay.
— I feel like crying. Would you hold hands with me while we both cry?
— Is it OK if we divide talking time? You have 60 seconds and I have five minutes.

• It’s a good idea to have a few daredevil friends. They are interesting people, and you cannot predict what they will do next.

• Daredevils allow me to live a vicarious, exciting life in my thoughts and dreams. They create adventures that I am too cautious to actually attempt to do. Vicarious living allows me partial enjoyment without getting hurt or arrested. My fear exceeds my courage. My logic stops me cold.

• I want to thank my daredevil friends for helping me understand that life is too short to be bored for over 28 minutes. Thank you for also inspiring me to take more chances than I normally would. Daredevil friends inspire me to say and do things I would have never considered before I met them.

• I can’t say I really understand what makes a daredevil tick, and I don’t need to understand them. I just need to enjoy their courage. Perhaps, I just envy them?

• All the daredevils I associate with are attractive, intelligent people with a great sense of humor. Keeping these descriptions in mind, please exercise at least a little caution in your life journey. We need you guys to remind us that passion is more important than always playing it safe.

• Recently I watched a couple dance the tango. Afterwards, I felt like the guy should propose marriage to his tango partner. The tango is so intimate and sexy, that it takes my breath away. A marriage proposal seems the least you should do, assuming the dance went OK.

• I like the idea that my mind is basically incorrigible. You can throw all the rules and commandments you want at me, but I will still follow my passion instincts and my desire to be kind to everyone.

• Strong authority figures do not intimidate me, and they have never convinced me to stop being incorrigible.

• Are you incorrigible? If the answer is “no,” you can’t have coffee with me!

Bob Billingsley is a columnist at the Mountain Democrat. His column appears bi-weekly. 

Comments

comments

Bob Billingsley

Bob Billingsley writes Heard Over the Back Fence three times a week, keeping his pen on the pulse of the community. He also writes a biweekly column called Billingsley's Bullets, in which he uses “sideways” thinking to make your day a little easier to handle.
  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email.

  • .

    News

    IRS unveils Taxpayer Bill of Rights

    By News Release | From Page: B1

     
    Highway 50 collision fatal

    By Cole Mayer | From Page: A1

    Stay connected through sheriff

    By El Dorado County Sheriff's Office | From Page: B1

     
    EDH community unites to patch up historic barn

    By Mike Roberts | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    P’ville hires Camino superintendent

    By News Release | From Page: B1

     
    Bird tests positive for West Nile

    By Ross Branch | From Page: A1

    Heard over the back fence: Public swim times announced

    By Bob Billingsley | From Page: B1

     
    County gets partial refund on promotional event

    By Dawn Hodson | From Page: A3

     
    Jeepers expo Wednesday in Georgetown

    By Dawn Hodson | From Page: A3

    Help SWR with squirrel babies

    By Sierra Wildlife Rescue | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Opinion

    The rural life: Save the day: Neuter and spay

    By Jennifer Forsberg Meyer | From Page: A4

     
    Different place, different priorities

    By Mountain Democrat | From Page: A4

    California rambling: Giving cities a pass

    By John Poimiroo | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Letters

    A thank you note

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

     
    Prada belongs in Berkeley

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5

    Ready for Hillary?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

     
    Fukushima

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5

    Diamond Springs Firefighters Union is corrupt

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

     
    100+ years and thanks

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A5

    .

    Sports

    Season over for Post 119

    By Mike Bush | From Page: A6 | Gallery

     
    Valley View Sports Park

    By Julie Samrick | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    Under the Scoreboard: July 20, 2014

    By Democrat Staff | From Page: A6

     
    Schedule: July 21-26

    By Democrat Staff | From Page: A6

    Becker slips by in wild KWS finish

    By Gary Thomas | From Page: A6

     
    Sports Scene: July 20, 2014

    By Jerry Heinzer | From Page: A6

    Roundup: July 20, 2014

    By Democrat Staff | From Page: A6

     
    Sophia Barden wins strut title

    By Special to the Democrat | From Page: A7

    .

    Prospecting

    How to safely help a horse

    By Wendy Schultz | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Railroad Museum offers a fun ‘History Happy Hour’

    By California State Railroad Museum | From Page: B4

     
    As we were: Money for home repairs

    By Ken Deibert | From Page: B4

     
    Marshall Medical Center to host day of fitness and fun

    By Marshall Medical | From Page: B10

    Kids parade for free admission to the fair

    By Amador County Fair | From Page: B10

     
    Volunteer kitchen help needed in EDH

    By Health and Human Services Agency | From Page: B10

    .

    Essentials

    Crime Log: July 6-8

    By Cole Mayer | From Page: A2

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Betty Ellene Hock

    By Contributor | From Page: A2Comments are off for this post

     
    Douglas J. Beam

    By Contributor | From Page: A2

    Arthur J. Funston

    By Contributor | From Page: A2

     
    Jerry Grant Young Jr.

    By Contributor | From Page: A2

    Kathryn Noreen Nolan

    By Contributor | From Page: A2

     
    .

    Real Estate

    .

    Comics

    Horoscope, Tuesday, July 22, 2014

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

     
    Horoscope, Monday, July 21, 2014

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

    Shoe

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

     
    Sukodu

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

    Rubes

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

     
    New York Times Crossword

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

    TV Listings

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

     
    Speed Bump

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

    American Profile Crossword

    By Contributor | From Page: A8

     
    Tundra

    By Contributor | From Page: A8