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My turn: ‘Twas the Night Before Fiscal Cliff Mess

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From page A4 | December 12, 2012 | 27 Comments

‘Twas the night before Cliff Mess, and throughout the land,
Democrats, Republicans were taking a stand.
Their positions unwavering, intractably firm,
With donkey-like stubbornness or entrenched pachyderm.

But the public were hopeful all snug in their beds,
With visions of compromise alive in their heads.
“Come on!” said the people in frustrated dismay.
“Abandon this meaningless partisan fray.”

When Obama and Boehner finally met,
Their first thoughts were not of a country in debt.
And Obama, the chief, said to Boehner “Oh crap!
I’d rather depart for a nice winter’s nap.”

“I know,” sighed Boehner “I’ve plenty to do,
Was planning to take a vacation or two.”
“Never mind,” said the Prez, “we’ll just keep delaying,
Who cares what the grumbling public are saying.”

But out in the blogosphere there arose such a clatter,
The people revolted, resolving this matter:
“There’s only one way to deal with such fools
Obama and Boehner must settle by duel.”

“No way!” said Obama, “I’m renowned for my peace.
“With a medal of proof on my lounge mantlepiece.”
“I agree” cried Boehner, not eager to battle,
And caught the first plane heading out to Seattle.

“Come back,” yelled the people, “we demand this by right,
You’ve had chances to talk, now you settle this fight.”
But the pair, reunited, were far from impressed,
As the thought of a duel made them rather depressed.

As he pondered alternative White House residents,
Obama now saw why we have the vice presidents.
Quick thinking, as always, to Biden he beckoned,
“Get over here Joe, and I’ll make you my second.”

“Now Joe I expect you’ll appear around dawn,
To face off with Boehner on the White House’s lawn.”
“Yeah right!” smiled old Joe, “Would love to assist,
But I ain’t packing no pistol — what if I missed?”

And then, in a twinkling, Obama’s next step,
Was to call up more buddies, to be his next rep.
“Now Pelosi! Now Clinton! Now Durbin and Reid!”
But all vanished from Washington with notable speed.

“Oh dear,” mused Obama, “now what shall I do?”
So he phoned up Boehner for a quick rendezvous.
“My friend, we are beaten, let’s abandon aggression.”
“Agreed,” said the Speaker, “it’s time for concession.”

So they sprang into action, both recommending,
Adding some taxes and cutting some spending.
Then I heard them exclaim, “We’ve reached a consensus!
Good-bye Fiscal Cliff, we’ve come to our senses.”

Thomas’ features and columns have appeared in more than 250 magazines and newspapers, including the Washington Post, LA Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, San Francisco Chronicle, and Christian Science Monitor, and is author of “Raised by the Stars,” published by McFarland Press. He can be reached at alongtheselines@yahoo.com.

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 27 comments

  • Phil VeerkampDecember 11, 2012 - 7:09 am

    . . . and it's MORNING IN MICHIGAN!!! . . . . (pssst! - i have 3 great grandchildren in michigan)

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  • Phil VeerkampDecember 11, 2012 - 7:11 am

    . . . oops . . .

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  • cookie65December 12, 2012 - 6:32 am

    Phil, did you see the video of the union thug in Michigan calling himself a parasite? I think he was Garon's twin.

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  • Dink LaneDecember 13, 2012 - 5:02 pm

    The FOX viewers were the ONLY ones who saw the EDITED video.... They didn't see here Crowder sucker punched him....knocking him to the ground.... FOX video started when he was back up on his feet and punched him BACK..... A Thug is someone who is a brutal ruffian.... Yep, Crowder was a THUG...and FOX viewers have been duped once again...

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  • Jack MartinDecember 13, 2012 - 5:15 pm

    Dink.... I just scoured you tube looking for video you claim shows Crowder throwing first punch. Didn't find anything, please provide. Not doubting you, just saying I could not find it. You must have seen it, so please provide link. I noticed Crowder challenged the Union Thug to a match, MMA-style. I'd love to see that.

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  • Jack MartinDecember 13, 2012 - 5:26 pm

    Challenge the sources, Dink. Don't be a tool. I dug into this outside of YouTube. There is no video of Crowder throwing first punch. And the reason your handlers have video of uniot thug Tony Carmago getting up off the ground is not because Crowder punched him. It's because he had already swung at the back of Crowder's head and either missed or only connected lightly, so he lost his balance and fell over. This horse sh** rumor you are perpetuating was fed to you by DemocraticUnderground, a hard-left-wing site. Stop being a tool in someone else's hand. That said, show a link to video of Crowder hitting the guy first and I will publicly apologize.

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  • Jack MartinDecember 13, 2012 - 5:31 pm

    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/pj-gladnick/2012/12/12/duers-claim-steven-crowder-caused-michigan-union-violence

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  • EvelynDecember 13, 2012 - 5:49 pm

    MICHIGAN POLICE SCRATCH THEIR HEADS AT FOX CONTRIBUTOR’S POST-PUNCH MEDIA TOUR: “If Fox News contributor Steven Crowder wants justice after being assaulted during right-to-work protests in Michigan this week, he sure has a weird way of showing it. That’s the word from Michigan State Police, who are ready to investigate and prosecute the man who punched Crowder multiple times on camera Tuesday — if only Crowder would let them. [M]edia reports have poked holes in the original, edited video Crowder posted online after he was punched. The New York Times reported “a look at the video broadcast on the Sean Hannity show appears to show quite clearly that [Crowder] left out an important section of the footage when he put together his edit.” The unedited footage shows “the man who punched Mr. Crowder being knocked to the ground seconds before and then getting up and taking a swing at the comedian,” the Times reported.” @ http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/12/steven-crowder-no-charges.php

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  • Jackoff MartinDecember 13, 2012 - 6:17 pm

    I am a moron for watching and believing all of the bs that is shoveled at me by Fox News. I hereby apologize and promise to try to think more critically in the future.

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  • EvelynDecember 13, 2012 - 6:28 pm

    Jack! You're definitely NOT a moron. But I know the feeling. On more than one occasion someone here has pointed out something I've missed.

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 6:09 am

    Evelyn-You might like these articles-http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/video-the-union-goon-who-attacked-crowder-had-spewed-profanities-at-him-earlier-in-the-day/...or...http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/12/12/Huffington-Post-Misquotes-Union-Violence-Victim-Steven-Crowder...or...http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/12/12/Huffington-Post-Misquotes-Union-Violence-Victim-Steven-Crowder. Makes interesting reading.

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 6:18 am

    From Nice Deb-"Via FTR Radio, another exclusive video of the menacing mob behavior that eventually brought down the AFP tent. Most of us have seen the attack on Steven Crowder by the union thug. This video shows the guy approaching Crowder about an hour before the punch while he was debating pro-union protesters in front of the tent. According to eye witness, Thomas La Duke of FTR Radio, this video provides strong evidence that the guy was looking for a fight…"http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/video-the-union-goon-who-attacked-crowder-had-spewed-profanities-at-him-earlier-in-the-day/

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 6:38 am

    Here is Stacy McCains' take on how the story is being distorted by the MSM-"Stacy McCain gets it: After yesterday’s incident in which labor union activists tore down an Americans for Prosperity tent in Lansing and sucker-punched Stephen Crowder, this headline zoomed up the Memorandum aggregation: Breitbart Folks Appear to Fake Violence in Lansing Huh? This was a decidedly odd piece of blogging: The claim that somehow the union thug clobbering Crowder was part of a right-wing hoax, based on such “evidence” as the event having been reported by “James O’Keefe’s buddy” Lee Stranahan — because, hey, if anybody at Breitbart thinks it’s actually news, that means it must be phony, right? Also, the video was edited. Anybody who edits a video is obviously engaged in some kind of evil conspiracy. What the hell is this silly gibberish? Are these people crazy? No, they’re engaged in a systematic effort to create confusion and discourage mainstream journalists from reporting on the incident. “Accuse the accusers!” Re-arrange the narrative of events so that a story that obviously makes the Left look bad is, instead, a story about the Right unjustly trying to make the Left look bad.

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  • EvelynDecember 14, 2012 - 7:09 am

    WHAT DID STEVEN CROWDER SAY ABOUT HIS VIDEO EDITING? @ http://www.forbes.com/sites/gregorymcneal/2012/12/14/what-did-steven-crowder-say-about-his-video-editing/ ********** P.S. I have no stake in the outcome. I’ll go with the truth, whatever it is!

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 8:47 am

    Evelyn- You might want to read the Breitbart article about the tent being destroyed. It is very interesting. Even our infamous man in the NRA makes an appreance according to a union rep.http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/12/12/Headline...and...Patterico's explaination about the Kimberlin/Rauhauser tactics that are being employed....http://patterico.com/2012/12/12/rewriting-history-on-the-attack-on-steven-crowder-and-the-relevance-of-kimberlinrauhauser-tactics/

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 8:52 am

    Evelyn- You might want to read the Breitbart article about the tent being destroyed. It is very interesting. Even our infamous man in the NRA makes an appreance according to a union rep.http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/12/12/Headline..

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 8:58 am

    Evelyn-And,...Patterico's explaination about the Kimberlin/Rauhauser tactics that are being employed....http://patterico.com/2012/12/12/rewriting-history-on-the-attack-on-steven-crowder-and-the-relevance-of-kimberlinrauhauser-tactics/... You have to decide what is the truth for you.

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 9:00 am

    oops**explanation* Reminder to self-Don't talk and type.

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  • EvelynDecember 14, 2012 - 11:11 am

    Dee: Thank you for both links; I share your interest in events being accurately reported. Sometimes media noise prevents us from considering crucial context. I'll leave a link to relevant remarks by Rep. Brandon Dillon on the floor of the Michigan House of Reps on 12/6/2012. Dillon said there had been no committee hearings on HB 4054 (Right-to-Work legislation), no opportunity to debate amendments, no public input, and that party staffers had filled the House gallery seats to prevent public participation. Maintaining that there had been no transparency, Dillon called the process shameful and undemocratic. ********** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsI2xc_FYX0&feature=player_embedded

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 11:38 am

    Evelyn-We were discussing the union thugs violence and the media cover-up not the legislation itself. However, I will reference our President-Those that developed and passed the law, won. They get to call the shots. So if they don't like the law, then it goes to the courts not the streets for violent action. The description of the actions of the Michigan legislature sounds like a word for word description of the passage of Obamacare. And is this the guy that promised "blood on the streets"?

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  • EvelynDecember 14, 2012 - 11:44 am

    Dee: If you watch the video you'll have the answer to your question. I didn't see/hear Dillion mention anything about blood in the streets. His concern was for significant legislation not having been properly debated.

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  • EvelynDecember 14, 2012 - 11:58 am

    P.S. Dee: I'm not a "blood in the streets" sort of person and tend to avoid posting material of those who are.

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 12:25 pm

    Evelyn-You are right. Dillon didn't say it. Douglas Geiss did. “There will be blood,” State Representative Douglas Geiss threatened from the floor of the Michigan House of Representatives as its members debated legislation that eventually made Michigan the nation’s 24th right to work state.....If you trying to put things into "crucial context",a Rep. threatening "There will be blood." seems like context of the violence that followed.

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  • EvelynDecember 14, 2012 - 1:39 pm

    Dee: Following on your identifying the correct person I looked for and found Geiss's address to the Michigan House of Reps. My understanding of the intent of the concerns he expressed differs from yours, but of course I can't be certain about my interpretation. What I do feel confident about, however, is that it's always wise to know what a person ACTUALLY said or did, rather than relying solely upon 2nd & 3rd hand accounts.

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  • DeeDecember 14, 2012 - 1:42 pm

    O.k. Evelyn, you've got me laughing. Geez.

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  • EvelynDecember 14, 2012 - 3:22 pm

    Laughter is the best medicine. Enjoy!

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  • DB SmithDecember 19, 2012 - 6:49 pm

    Time Magazine Person of the Year goes to ...Barack Hussein Obama. Yes, for the second time the Great Divider and Nobel Peace Prize winner has received the Time Magazine honor. Hardy har har and a har har har! Who is sleeping with who??? Tell you what...the only person that should receive an award of that type should be Felix Baumgartner.

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