Mrs. Gloop: [Augustus is now sucked into the suction pipe which takes him to the vertical pipe] He can’t swim.
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Willy Wonka: There’s no better time to learn.
— Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
As this editorial is written the day before the polls have closed and local election results have been tabulated, we thought we would comment on the election in the Ukraine. The billionaire chocolate factory owner has won the election outright for president of the Ukraine. Russia’s trained stooges in captured and terrorized cities in the east made a show of stealing and destroying ballot boxes. Prior to the election they stole armored cars from banks and used them to attack poorly trained and equipped Ukrainian Army reservists manning checkpoints. They attacked them with rocket-propelled grenades, mortar and machine guns.
In Mariupol, a coastal city on the sea of Azov the Russian separatists disappeared when steel tycoon Rinat Akhimetov rallied his steel workers and they started partnering up with police to patrol the city. The metals and mining oligarch is opposing the Russian separatists because they are damaging the economy. When the separatists seized the railroad they threatened industrial shipments that eastern Ukraine’s industry depends on.
Petro Poroshenko, the chocolate king, will now move to develop closer ties with the European Union and also seek to improve relations with Russia. He also will be pressing America to provide military support. As one of the three guarantors of Ukraine’s borders, it’s the least that the U.S. could do. The other two guarantors were Russia and Great Britain. Britain should start giving the country some real military assistance. And it should do that in coordination with the U.S.
Proshenko has a lot to do — reform and streamline the bureaucracy. Get control of the police and have them retrained by the FBI and Scotland Yard. He needs to improve the pay and training of the army. Getting control of the captured cities in the east will take some time.
“I am convinced that this election must finally bring peace to Ukraine, stop lawlessness, stop chaos, stop bandit terror in the east,” Poroshenko said before the poll results were announced. “People with weapons must be removed from Ukrainian streets, Ukrainian villages and cities.”
Meanwhile the so-called separatists have re-occupied a public building in Mariupol. In Donesk they have seized a train station, burned an ice hockey rink but lost a battle for the airport. May 27 in the Luhansk region, the Ukrainian Border Guards Service said that its officers engaged in a gun battle with a group of gunmen who were trying to break through the border from Russia. The guards seized several vehicles loaded with Kalashnikov assault rifles, rocket grenade launchers and explosives.