The weekly Daley — I mean what I say, and I say what I say, and mean what I mean, or something like it

Here are some examples of recent political ads and the corrections that followed:

The ad: “Barack Obama isn’t the first socialist president but he’s the worst socialist president, and Gov. Romney is going to smite him a new body cavity come November,” said an ad from a new Super PAC supporting Mr. Romney.

“The president isn’t the worst socialist president ever. He’s the first and worst Kenyan, Muslim president ever, and the Governor is going to squash him real good come November.” Correction to the original statement.

The ad: “Mitt Romney’s first official act if elected will be to mandate that all Americans, hard-working, middle class Americans must begin wearing ‘Magic Underwear’ not later than Feb. 1, 2013,” another new pro-Obama Super PAC noted on Wednesday.

“In the unlikely event that cult-leader Romney is elected in November, he will immediately ban all forms and usages of the word ‘cult’ such as ‘cult-like’ and ‘cultish.’”  Correction to the original statement.

The ad: “Vice President Joe Biden is the stupidest person in the universe,” Rudy Giuliani reportedly speaking off-camera to FOX News.

“Vice President Joe Biden is actually the stupidest person in the whole world, not necessarily the entire universe.” Correction to the original statement.

The ad: “The government has been completely taken over by Muslims who want to impose ‘sharia law’ throughout this great country of ours. And if Barack Obama is re-elected, he will become the Ayatolla of America.” Adapted from a letter Michelle Bachmann sent this week to government officials demanding an investigation.

“The president doesn’t care if America gets ‘sharia law’ and that’s why it should be called ‘Obamadon’tcare’ instead of Obamacare.” Correction to the letter-based ad, sort of.

The ad: “Anyone seen Paul Ryan’s birth certificate? Of course not. It’s because he was born on the Planet Doofus.” Super PAC ad on the Internet.

“Paul Ryan’s birth certificate is safely sealed in a bucket of Doofonite, similar to Kryptonite, but greener.” Not exactly a correction, but by Internet standards…

The ad: “Michelle Obama eats fried Twinkies and cold lard after the girls go to bed. Then she says Americans should eat better. OMG, what a LLPOF.” Statement attributed to the American Lard Council.

“Everyone knows what we meant to say. Mrs. Obama says Americans shouldn’t eat lard. As if! LOL.” Correction by the American Lard Council.

The ad: “If Mitt Romney is elected president, he will immediately issue an Executive Order mandating four ounces of lard in every school lunch, every day. No exceptions.”  A flyer sent to millions of households. Source unknown.

“The Executive Order will also apply to all meals prepared for the military or served in federal prisons and in the cafeterias in all government buildings.” Sent anonymously and titled, “Correction to flyer mailed by unknown source.”

The ad: “God loves Joe Biden way more than Paul Ryan, because Paul Ryan is not a Christian. He’s a Doofunist, as everyone knows or ought to know, and God has never much cared for Doofunists.” Internet-based Super PAC evidently supporting Obama-Biden.

“God doesn’t hate Doofunists, but he thinks their Secret Handshake and their Special Gerbils are pretty lame.” Possibly a correction to an earlier Internet post.

The ad: “If he’s re-elected, Barack Obama will immediately issue an Executive Order requiring beach volleyball to be played in skimpy bikinis on all federal property — including navy bases where there might actually be a beach.” Claimed by Super Family Values PAC.

“I’m Barack Obama and I approve this ad from the Super Family Values PAC.” This correction speaks for itself.

The ad: “Gov. Romney didn’t really kill that guy’s sick wife. I misspoke, and I apologize.” President Obama apologizing for a nasty attack ad.

“Gov. Rommel didn’t really kill that guy’s sick wife.” Apparent correction to controversial attack ad.

The ad: “Barack Obama didn’t have anything to do with the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden. Mitt Romney, Secret Agent 009, ordered the hit, and Deputy Secret Agent Paul Ryan led the brave SEAL team to that victory.” New “Swift-boat-like” ad from a new pro-Romney group of former SEALS.

“Barack Obama couldn’t have ordered and directed the Bin Laden mission, because he was playing golf again that day for the 235th time since he became president.” A correction-like correction to the Swift-boat-like ad.

And it won’t get any better between now and November.

Chris Daley is a staff writer and columnist for the Mountain Democrat. His column appears each Friday. 

Chris Daley

Chris has written a weekly column for the Democrat for more than 20 years and has Master’s Degrees in Russian History, Psychology and Career Counseling. He has been a staff writer for a number of years and enjoys it because he "learns so much about so many things."

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